


this could be the start

by beautifulbane



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, High School AU, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, Jock!Alec, Jock!Jace, M/M, Theatre geek!Magnus, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-02
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-07-28 20:23:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 41,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7655485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifulbane/pseuds/beautifulbane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec Lightwood's senior year had been going perfectly. He'd just finished a successful season as his school's quarterback, was still going strong with his longtime girlfriend, head-cheerleader Lydia Branwell, and his grades remained straight A's — that was until he realized he needed a theatre credit to graduate. </p><p>Forced to join his school's drama club and audition for a part in their upcoming play, Alec meets Magnus Bane. Free-spirited, openly bisexual, and extreme theatre geek Magnus Bane. </p><p>Even though the two immediately clash, Magnus helps Alec realize things about himself that he'd been keeping long hidden: from both himself and the people around him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [shae_malik](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shae_malik/gifts).



> Hiiii, back again with the Shadowhunters fic! The idea behind this fic goes entirely to Shae (shae_malik on here and maurypovichofficial on tumblr), who has been very patient with my snail-pace writing! Thank you for that! 
> 
> I already have 4/8 chapters written of this, so I'm hoping updates will be fairly frequent. 
> 
> I also hope you enjoy and please leave comments letting me know what you think!!
> 
> (Also the story title is from The Start of Something New from High School Musical because I couldn't help myself.)

"So, what's the damage?"

Alec turned around, seeing his best friend, Jace, walking down the hallway with a white piece of paper in hand.

Alec huffed. The last thing he felt like talking about was his grades.  
  
"Straight 'A's, barely."

Jace shot him an incredulous look. "Then why do you look so upset? I would kill to have those grades."

The semester had just ended for them. Today, report cards had come out, along with some rather unfortunate news for Alec.

"I got called down to guidance today. Apparently, if I don't have a certain credit, I fail. I'll have to graduate next year."

"But you have perfect grades?!" Jace exclaimed.

Alec shot Jace a look that said he was clearly aware of this.

"Right, okay, what credit? I'm sure you'll breeze through whatever it is."

Alec sighed as he arrived to his locker, entering the code into his lock. He felt like banging his head against it — just a little.

" _Theatre_ ," he muttered, thinly veiling his dislike.

Jace suddenly burst into laughter. "Oh my god, bro, you've got to be kidding."

Alec could only glare. He _wished_ he was kidding.

"You're not kidding," Jace said, his expression quickly sobering. "Alec, do you even know how to act?"

"Of course I don't know how to act!" Alec whisper-shouted. "I'm probably going to bomb this stupid club and then fail my senior year. I don't know what to do."

"You might as well give it a try. It's either that or failing."

Alec nodded. He knew Jace had a point, despite how much he hated it.

"I'll talk to my parents about it. I mean, they'll probably just yell at me and force me to join, but. Might as well tell them."

Jace gave him a pat on the back and they continued their walk down the hallway.

***

Family dinners were always terrible, but somehow they were even worse when grade reports came out.

Alec's little sister, Izzy, was sat next to him, talking about her cheer squad in a way that was clearly meant to draw attention away from her grades.

"Isabelle," their mother said, her voice strict, "Your father and I asked about your grades. Not whether or not Maureen perfected the high-rise."

Izzy looked over at Alec, who gave her a sympathetic look. It was the only thing he could do.

"All 'A's," Izzy said quietly.

"And your math grade?"

Izzy grimaced. "'B+'. But, in my defense, the teacher is _terrible_ and you know I'm bad at math as is, so the combination of me and a bad teacher is not—"

"I told you that you needed a tutor. A 'B' is not acceptable," Maryse scolded.

"It's not my fault!" Izzy exclaimed, her voice raising in indignation. "I told you, the teacher—"

"Do not blame your own misdoings on your teacher. Maybe if you studied more instead of spending time with that boyfriend of yours—" Izzy opened her mouth to protest, but Maryse continued to speak. "If your math grade isn't raised by your next interim, I'll know that he's the problem. You won't be able to see him again until you have an 'A'."

Izzy's mouth was agape, clearly both shocked and hurt. Before Izzy could think of anything to say that would get her into even more trouble, Alec decided to speak up.

"My grades were good. Straight 'A's," he said conversationally.

Maryse turned her attention from Izzy to Alec. She smiled at her eldest son.

"That's good, Alec. It's nice that Lydia doesn't get in the way of your academic studies."

Alec winced. He hated that his mom was easier on him than she was on Izzy. He wasn't sure why his mom had such an animosity towards her daughter; perhaps because Izzy was the only girl. It still wasn't right.

"But, um...there's something else. I was told by my guidance counselor that I have to have a theatre credit before I graduate. If I don't have it, I'll be held back," Alec explained. He had no idea how his parents would react. Technically it wasn't his fault because he hadn't known that he was without it until just now, but he doubted his parents would understand that.

"A theatre credit?" Robert spoke for the first time, his face twisted in discomfort.

Alec nodded as Maryse said, "Well, how will you get it? Because you have to get it. You're not being held back."

"I was thinking of joining the drama club," Alec said, his cheeks warming at the intense stares both of his parents were giving him. "I have no idea how to act and most of the theatre kids are really...strange, but I'll try my best."

Maryse nodded, an air of finality to the motion. Robert still looked uncomfortable, but he stayed quiet, obviously not wanting to upset his wife. The conversation then shifted over to Max, Alec's youngest brother, who was only in the first grade.

As soon as he spoke, the tension vanished from the room. Alec was able to temporarily take his mind off of how shitty joining theatre was going to be.

***

Alec knew that Magnus Bane was head of the drama club. He was the stereotypical theatre kid, with his flashy clothes, makeup, and carefully styled hair that occasionally had colored streaks in it. Alec wasn't sure if he had ever met another guy who was so blatantly sure of himself.

Still, he needed to talk to Magnus about when auditions were. Alec had heard from fellow classmates that a new play was about to be put on, though the club first needed to hold auditions.

At the end of the school day, Alec was heading to the auditorium, figuring that was where Magnus would be, when he bumped into a slight blonde girl. He was about to apologize when he saw who she was.

His girlfriend of almost a year, Lydia Branwell.

"Lydia, hey," he murmured, holding the girl at arm's length. He saw that she was dressed in her red and white cheerleading uniform, her blond hair pulled back into a high ponytail.

"Watch where you're going, Lightwood," she teased, though she then shot him a questioning look. "Speaking of, where are you going?"

Alec's cheeks flushed slightly. He hated explaining that he was joining the drama club, of all things. When he had told some of the guys on his football team, they had laughed at him for what felt like hours.

Hopefully Lydia wouldn't have the same reaction.

He explained everything to her as quickly as he could, simply because he didn't want to get to the auditorium too late and miss Magnus.

Lydia was suspiciously quiet once Alec had finished explaining, so he made sure to add, "I'm _not_ doing it because I want to, trust me."

Alec wasn't expecting it when Lydia placed a gentle hand on his cheek. She smiled, small and private.

"You know," she said, "I wouldn't mind if you joined because you _did_ want to. It doesn't bother me either way."

Alec felt a surprisingly heavy weight lift off of his shoulders as he returned Lydia's smile. He leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

"I have to go find Magnus Bane, he's head of the club. Text me after practice?" Alec suggested.

Lydia nodded, offering him a chaste kiss before wandering off to the gym for practice.

After that, Alec all but ran to the auditorium. There was no way Magnus would still be there, and then Alec wouldn't know when auditions were and he wouldn't receive his theatre credit—

As soon as Alec walked into the auditorium, he could see that he'd been wrong. Magnus Bane and the school's art teacher, Ms. Fray, stood on the stage. In the audience were about thirty teenagers, all of whom were listening intently as Magnus and Ms. Fray spoke.

Alec realized a little belatedly that he was late. It was this realization that had him sinking into a seat before anyone else could see him, a seat that was towards the back of the room. The closest person to Alec was maybe fifteen seats ahead of him — exactly the way Alec wanted it.

He listened as Magnus and Ms. Fray explained the play they were putting on — "Almost, Maine." Alec, of course, had never heard of it.

"Auditions are tomorrow at three-thirty. If you're late, you won't be receiving the part. Punctuality is _everything_ in theatre," Magnus declared dramatically.

Alec rolled his eyes. He didn't see the big deal in being five to ten minutes, but theatre kids _were_ known to be awfully dramatic.

At the end of the meeting, Magnus stood at the front of the stage, handing out scripts and speaking with anyone who had a question. Alec watched from his seat. He realized that once he talked to Magnus and had a script, this whole theatre thing would be official. There was no going back or quitting.

 _You have to do this_ , Alec told himself, and hesitantly made his way towards the stage.

He'd taken so long with his inner turmoil that just about everyone else had left, except for Magnus, Ms. Fray, and a red-haired girl. Alec was fairly certain that the red-haired girl was Ms. Fray's daughter, considering how much they looked alike.

But Alec centered his focus on Magnus. He was reading through one of the scripts, not looking at Alec, so Alec made sure to clear his throat.

Magnus' eyes quickly fluttered upwards. When he saw Alec, his mouth gaped.

"Alec Lightwood?" he asked.

Alec smirked. "The one and only."

Magnus' expression changed immediately. He scowled, focusing back on his scripts.

"What are you doing here? Come to make a laughing-stock out of my play?"

Alec was shocked at the tone of the other boy's voice. He tried to recall if he had ever done anything to Magnus that would make him talk to Alec in such a way, but he couldn't think of anything. He couldn't even recall _meeting_ Magnus before today.

" _No,_ I came for a script. I'm auditioning tomorrow," Alec said matter-of-factly.

He'd had people dislike him before, lots of people. But it had never bothered him. At the end of the day, Alec didn't have to like Magnus, and Magnus didn't have to like him; Alec just needed his theatre credit.

"Why?" Magnus asked. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously as he inspected Alec.

Alec huffed. He was getting tired of this. All he wanted was a script and then to get out of here.

"Look, I'm not going to sabotage your precious little play, okay? I need a theatre credit to graduate and this was the only way I could get it. Now can I please have a script?"

Alec felt his blood boil as Magnus smirked, handing him a script. There was something about the boy that got under Alec's skin. Maybe it was how superior he acted; Magnus knew that Alec was out of his element here and was using it to his advantage.

"Best of luck. I'm _sure_ you'll get the part," Magnus said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Alec snatched the script from him, but not before noticing that Magnus' nails were painted a deep, vibrant blue.

He hadn't ever seen another guy with painted nails.

Magnus offered a wave to Ms. Fray and the red-haired girl and then walked down the aisle, heading towards the door.

Alec could only stare at him in disbelief. He couldn't believe that he would have to put up with this guy for _two months._

"Don't mind Magnus, he can be a bit of a drama queen sometimes," Ms. Fray said to Alec, "I'm sure you'll do great tomorrow."

Alec looked away from Magnus in order to give Ms. Fray a small smile and a thank you.

At least _someone_ in this club had some respect.

***

Alec wasn't exactly sure why he was nervous once he arrived at the auditions. He figured it had something to do with the fact that this was his make-or-break moment. He would either get the part and continue on with theatre, or not get the part and fail his entire senior year.

Also, it was clear that Magnus didn't have high hopes on how Alec would do, and...well, maybe a small part of Alec wanted to prove him wrong.

Ms. Fray and Magnus were both sat in the front row of seats when Alec stepped onto the stage. His script was in his hands which, thankfully, prevented them from shaking.

The role he had decided to go out for was of a repairman named East, who saw a woman, Glory, sitting in his backyard. Her heart was broken by her now-passed husband and East wanted to help her fix it.

The scene Alec was auditioning with took place right after East had unexpectedly kissed Glory.

"Tell us your name and what role you'll be auditioning for," Magnus prompted. He actually looked somewhat excited, probably to see Alec fail and make a fool out of himself.

"I'm Alec Lightwood and I'll be auditioning for the role of East."

Magnus nodded, gesturing with his hand for Alec to continue.

"I really don't know what happened!" Alec started.

"Well, _I_ do. I know what happened!"

Alec's eyes flitted up in surprise. Magnus had been the one to speak. Alec hadn't...he hadn't known that Magnus would be the one to go over his lines with him.

"I'm not the kind of person who does things like that," Alec spoke earnestly. "Please. Don't go. I won't bother you. Maybe just...consider what I did a very warm Maine welcome."

"All right. I'm — my name's Glory."

"I'm East. For Easton. It's the name of the town — little ways that way — where I was born. Mess up on the birth certificate...a son, Easton, born on the sixth day of January, 1998, in the town of Matthew, Maine...instead of the other way around..."

When Alec looked up, he saw that Magnus had a hint of a smile on his face.

"Aw, I'm sorry," he said affectionately.

"Naw..."

"So, Easton..."

"Yeah."

"I think that's good," Magnus spoke up, and for the first time, he met Alec's eyes.

Alec could see that Ms. Fray was giving Magnus a bemused look, one that undoubtedly matched Alec's own face.

"But there's more to the sce—" Alec tried, but Magnus wasn't having any of it.

"I said that's good. You'll see a list posted in a couple of days time telling you whether or not you got the part."

Alec wondered, briefly, if he should storm out of the auditorium, but ultimately decided that he didn't want to stoop down to the over-dramatic theatre kids' ways. Instead, he gave Magnus his best smile and slowly made his way down the stage.

"Thank you for your time," he told Magnus, not unlike the time Magnus had sarcastically wished him good luck.

Magnus didn't say anything. His face was mostly unaffected except for the purse of his lips, which gave way to how he was really feeling.

As Alec left the auditorium, the only thought in his mind was that he desperately hoped Magnus wouldn't have a say in his casting. He _knew_ that if it were up to him, there was no way Alec would get _any_ role.

He was not about to fail his senior year because of _Magnus Bane._

***

Waiting for Magnus to post the list of who got which parts was like torture to Alec. He tried entertaining himself by going to the weight room every day after school with Jace, but it still didn't successfully take his mind off of the play.

He kept going over his audition in his mind. Magnus had clearly known from Alec's audition what was going to happen, it was why he had ended it early. Alec just couldn't for the life of him decide if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

Maybe Alec was better than he thought he was. Magnus had told him to stop because Alec already had the part secured.

How ever much Alec wanted to believe that to be true, it seemed highly unlikely. Magnus hated him. He wouldn't just hand a part over to him, right?

He was walking through the lobby with Lydia's hand in his, both of them heading to the cafeteria, when he saw Magnus out of the corner of his eye. Alec turned his head to look at him and saw that he was pinning a list to the announcements board.

Alec's hand tightened in Lydia's. His entire body tightened, actually.

"Alec?" She called out softly. She was trying to look at him, but Alec's gaze was glued onto the list. "What's going on?"

Alec blinked and looked back at Lydia, his eyes unfocused. "Go wait for me in the cafeteria, yeah? I'll be there soon."

Lydia was obviously confused. Still, she nodded, and her long, blond braid moved from side-to-side as she walked to the cafeteria.

Alec didn't waste any time in going over to Magnus. He saw that the boy was dressed in royal blue khakis with a long-sleeved, silky black button-down tucked into them. The shirt was tight enough that Alec could make out the shape of his biceps quite easily.

But he didn't come over here to look at another guy's biceps, especially not Magnus Bane's...he was here to look at the list.

Long fingers snapped in front of his face. Alec blinked again.

"Earth to Alec!" Magnus exclaimed. He looked annoyed, but also curious. "Did you come over here to see if you got the part?"

"Uh," Alec said, very eloquently. He was still embarrassed that he'd been caught staring at Magnus long enough that the other boy'd had time to snap his fingers in front of his face. "Yes, I did."

Magnus waved his hands towards the list. He used his hands a lot, Alec noticed, and was immediately unsure why he had picked up on that.

He shook his head. Magnus was trying to get inside his head and distract him from the list — that was clearly what was going on here.

Alec took a step forward, his eyes scanning the list for his character's name. When he spotted it, he held his breath, almost unable to see who had gotten the role.

Slowly, he moved his eyes to the right.

And there was his name: Alec Lightwood. Alec smiled, letting out a huff of a laugh.

He looked back at Magnus, whose expression was neutral.

"Guess I didn't need your good luck after all," Alec claimed, an arrogant smile tugging on his lips.

Magnus rolled his eyes. If he had looked annoyed before, he looked even more so now.

"And to think I was just about to tell you good job," he murmured, more to himself than Alec.

Alec could only watch as Magnus stalked out of the lobby. He was starting to realize that Magnus liked making dramatic exits.

He also realized that Magnus must not have played as big a role in casting as Alec had initially thought. Ms. Fray must have been the one in charge of casting, which explained why Magnus had seemed so annoyed at Alec getting the part of East.

Now, not only was Alec happy because he was going to get his credit and graduate, but he also knew that he had succeeded in getting under Magnus' skin. The thought was a little more satisfying than it should have been.

On his way to the cafeteria, he ran into Ms. Fray. He made sure to stop her and thank her for the part, knowing that she had ensured him his graduating credit.

However, Ms. Fray's face twisted into a confused expression.

"Your part?" She asked.

"Yeah, you know, for casting me as East," Alec prompted.

Ms. Fray shook her head, a small smile on her lips. "I'm not the one in charge of casting, honey. That's all Magnus."

Alec's eyes widened. His mouth gaped. _Magnus_? But Magnus hated him...

Ms. Fray must have seen the shocked expression on his face, because she said, "He wouldn't stop talking about how perfect you were for East. He said you were exactly what he imagined when he first read the play — it's why he stopped your audition early. He didn't tell you that?"

Alec could only shake his head. He didn't know what to say.

"Well," Ms. Fray said, "We look forward to seeing you at rehearsals. You'll be there tomorrow after school?"

"Absolutely," Alec responded, finally finding his voice.

Ms. Fray gave him another smile and with a dazed wave, Alec continued on his way to the cafeteria.

He had no idea what to do with the information he had just learned. Maybe Magnus had pitied him and given him the role, or there was no one else who had auditioned, or...

Alec ran a hand through his hair. Or maybe Magnus wasn't a completely terrible person and Alec had been way too quick to pass judgement on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit of a set-up, but I promise things get more interesting next chapter ;)
> 
> Reblog the tumblr post here: http://bisexualluke.tumblr.com/post/148336201511/this-could-be-the-start-chapter-1-read if you enjoyed!!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't going to post this until Sunday, but I just finished writing chapter 5 and thought I'd post this chapter early as a result! I will be going on a trip from Monday to Thursday though, so it'll probably be about another week until I can update again! 
> 
> Also I'd like to thank everyone for the feedback, you all have been so lovely!
> 
> I hope you like this chapter ;)

When Alec returned home after training with Jace, it was with the knowledge that he'd be able to tell his parents about the part. Maryse had been asking him about it nearly every night, so it was a relief that this would get her off his back.

He did some of his math homework, not wanting to get behind, until Maryse called him down for dinner.

Alec then hurried down the steps, taking them two-at-a-time. Izzy, who was at the end of the staircase, clearly noticed his hastiness.

She smirked. "I don't think either of us have ever been so excited about a family dinner before."

Alec shook his head. It wasn't the dinner; neither of them _ever_ looked forward to those.

"Iz, I got the part," he told her quietly, "I'm gonna be able to graduate."

The teasing expression quickly vanished as Izzy's face lit up with happiness for her brother. She wrapped him up in a quick but warm hug, one that Alec immediately reciprocated.

"I'm proud of you, big bro," she told him sincerely, and they began making their way to the dining room.

"Apparently Magnus Bane made sure that I got the part," Alec said. He tried to sound as nonchalant as possible while also trying to see what Izzy's reaction would be.

Izzy simply nodded. "He's that guy with the awesome wardrobe and makeup, right? He seems nice."

Alec didn't know what to say. He couldn't agree that he thought Magnus was nice, because the two of them had done nothing but butt heads and argue since they had first met.

"Um...yeah. A little, uh, dramatic, I guess..." Alec stammered.

Izzy turned around, giving her brother a playful look. They had arrived at the table, where the rest of their family were.

"Come on, Alec; it's drama club. Of course he's going to be dramatic."

"Drama club?" Maryse piped up, raising her brow. "Did you hear anything back about your casting?"

Alec sat down in his seat. There was a genuine smile on his face as he said, "Yeah, I — I got the part."

Izzy and Max began to cheer, loudly. Alec's cheeks flushed, not liking all of the attention, but he _was_ silently proud of himself.

Maryse had her own smile on her face as she reached across the table, giving Alec's hand a small squeeze.

"Your father and I are very proud of you," she told Alec, and then looked over at her husband, "Aren't we, Robert?"

Alec realized then that his father hadn't spoken a word since he had made his announcement. He looked over at Robert, who was obviously trying to smile for his son, but it was coming out as more of a grimace.

"I thought you'd be happy," Alec said quietly, "I'm going to be able to graduate now."

"I... _am_ happy," Robert assured. He sounded like he was attempting to word himself very carefully. "It's just...did it _have_  to be the drama club that you joined?"

"Yeah, I checked. It was the only way I could get a theatre credit." Alec hesitated before continuing. He had a deep, sinking feeling that he wasn't going to like where this conversation was heading. "What's so bad about drama club?"

Robert scratched at his head. He was clearly uncomfortable. "It's just, you know, mostly you hear of those gay kids joining the theatre. There's not a lot of straight kids that are members, are there?"

"I—" Alec started, but quickly broke off in shock. He'd been expecting something bad, yes, but... _this_? He hadn't expected anything like this. "I only just joined, I don't—"

"That's a really great way to generalize and stereotype an entire group of kids. Not everyone who does theatre is gay, Dad. And, besides, Alec didn't join of his own freewill. He was forced to," Izzy spoke up, clearly trying to defend Alec's bumbling self.

He looked over at his sister, expecting her to be giving him one of his 'I just saved your ass' smiles, but she wasn't. Instead, Alec was met with Izzy's wide, earnest brown eyes, her expression completely serious.

Alec looked down at his plate. He faintly heard his dad murmur out an apology, but he didn't look at him.

He couldn't meet his family's eyes for the rest of dinner.

***

Alec told his friends about his role the next day at lunch. He was sat with Jace, Lydia, Izzy, Izzy's boyfriend Raphael, and a few other football players and cheerleaders. It was his usual lunch table.

"So you're going to be like the next Troy Bolton?" Jace asked nonchalantly, taking a drink of his juice.

Alec gave him his best bitch face. "Hilarious, Jace."

"Does that make me Gabriella? Or am I more of a Sharpay?" Lydia mused.

"Neither. You're not in theatre. Alec's gonna end up with someone in the club and leave you," Jace said confidently.

Alec gaped at him before smacking Jace in the arm. "That's a terrible thing to say!" He exclaimed, and then reverted his focus to Lydia. "I would _never_."

Lydia smiled up at him. She placed his hand in hers and gave it a light squeeze. "I know you wouldn't."

"That's admirable, Alec," Raphael spoke up.

When Alec looked up, Raphael's eyes were trained on his lunch, not meeting Alec's eyes. Alec had never liked Raphael. When Izzy had told Alec that she was dating him, he had immediately questioned her decision. Izzy had assured him that she didn't need his protection and that she was getting enough shit about him from their mother, so Alec had let it go.

He still didn't approve of Raphael, but he was now forced to be nice to him.

"What's admirable?"

Raphael looked up at him. His eyes looked so...cold, such a contrast to Izzy's vibrance and warmth.

"Your loyalty to Lydia. It's hard to find that nowadays."

Izzy's face twisted in confusion. "What's that supposed to mean? You're talking as if you don't have a girlfriend right here who's always been loyal to you."

"You said it, not me." Raphael shrugged.

Izzy's cheeks flushed in embarrassment. Alec really hoped that Raphael wasn't doing this, not here, not now.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Izzy whispered, her voice slowly growing in heat.

Raphael apparently didn't get the memo to keep quiet. He said, out loud, "Nada. I just meant to tell you that I've seen the way you look at Meliorn. I'm not stupid, Isabelle."

Meliorn, one of Alec's fellow teammates, was also sitting at the lunch table. He shot Raphael a surprised look, and then looked at Izzy.

Izzy's cheeks had gone a bright red. Her mouth was agape as she stared at Raphael in horror and shock.

"I — I would _never_. How dare you," she murmured heatedly, her eyes never leaving Raphael's face. She then stood up and hurriedly clacked out of the room in her heels, leaving the entire cafeteria staring after her.

Jace and Lydia both shot Alec concerned glances. Alec immediately stood up and hurried after his sister, wanting to make sure she was alright.

He wandered down the hallway, peeking into empty classrooms in an attempt to find Izzy. Eventually he came to an empty computer lab where he saw Izzy's small body hunched in on itself, her head in her hands as soft sobs escaped her.

Alec was beside her in a second. He sat in the empty chair next to her and pulled her against his chest, wrapping his arms around her.

Izzy looked up at him to see who it was, her eyes blood-shot. She then sniffled and returned the hug once she saw it was Alec.

"I'm so sorry, Iz," Alec whispered.

Izzy shook her head. "It's my own fault." Alec tried to assure her that it wasn't, but she continued to speak. "When we started out, it was so good. People told me that Raphael wasn't any good, that he'd break my heart, but. I saw a side to him that I don't think a lot of people saw. He opened up to me, and me to him. It was _good._ I don't — I don't know what's happened since then. I don't know how we got to here."

"Has he ever done anything like this to you before?"

"He's — he's always been kind of jealous, but he's never accused me of cheating on him." She blew a strand of curled hair out of her face. "I can't _believe_ he did that to me!"

"Iz, I know...I know this is easier said than done, but I don't think you should see him anymore. If he truly cared about you he wouldn't have humiliated you in front of the entire cafeteria. That's not love."

Izzy backed slightly away from him, her hands returning to her head. "I know," she whimpered, "But then he'll think I really _am_  seeing someone else. Alec, I don't know what to do."

Izzy truly looked lost. It broke Alec's heart to see his sister so upset; it made him want to punch Raphael in the face.

"I could talk to him," Alec said gruffly.

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Please don't fight my boyfriend."

"Well, I could. If you asked, I would."

"Thanks, big bro. I'll — I'll be alright. This was a warning sign. If he _ever_  does anything like this again, we're through," Izzy said.

Alec supposed that would have to be good enough for now. He desperately wanted his sister to find someone who deserved her and for her to dump Raphael right away, but he knew it would happen in due time.

"Maybe you should go to the bathroom before class starts?" Alec suggested.

Izzy gave him a puzzled look. Alec put his finger under his own eye and rubbed.

"Oh my god, my makeup!" Izzy exclaimed, standing from her seat. "Is it really bad?"

Alec wondered if there was a way to kindly tell her that she reminded him of a raccoon.

"It's not terrible," he lied.

"It really _is_ bad, oh god," she said. She went to exit the lab before she turned around, giving her brother one last appreciative look and a smile. "Thank you, by the way."

Alec smiled too. "Of course, Iz. I'll always be here for you."

***

It was the first day of rehearsals and Alec could already tell this was going to be a disaster.

Clary Fray, the red-headed girl who was Ms. Fray's daughter, had gotten the role of Glory, which meant she was playing Alec's love interest. This would've been all fine and well, if she hadn't immediately taken a dislike to him the very first practice.

"What do you mean you're playing East?" she demanded.

Alec gave her a charming smile. "I mean exactly what I said. I'm playing East."

Clary gave him a disgusted look. She then shook her head, focusing back on her script. " _Well_ , might as well start. Even if Magnus' thinking must have been impaired when he chose you for the part, there's nothing I can do about it."

Alec hid his eye roll behind his own script. God, were all of these theatre kids so dramatic? He was beginning to think they were.

They went over a few lines, reading from the script, and Alec tried his best to be serious about it; he really did. But when they got to a part where Clary dramatically exclaimed, "My heart!", Alec couldn't help his laughter.

"Why are you laughing?" Clary asked incredulously. "This is a serious part!"

"He has her heart in a paper bag. I'm pretty sure this is the opposite of serious."

"It's a metaphor!"

Alec let out another huff of laughter. Clary glared at him.

"Okay, okay, I'll be serious from now on. Go ahead."

They continued on, but not for long. Alec saw one of his own lines, a particularly dramatic one, and smirked. He was going to have fun with this.

"Wait a second," Alec quoted, his eyes going wide in faux disbelief, "How do you _breathe_? If your heart is in that bag—"

Clary didn't let him finish before she was storming across the stage, shouting Magnus' name all the while.

This time Alec's eyes really _were_  wide in disbelief. What was she doing?

"He's not taking this seriously! I knew he wouldn't, Magnus. What the hell were you thinking when you cast him?" He heard Clary hiss to Magnus.

Magnus put his hands on Clary's shoulder, whispering something to her that was too low for Alec to hear. He saw her visibly start to calm down and then the two of them were making their way over to Alec.

Great, he was probably about to be scolded by two over-dramatic theatre kids. Was it illegal in theatre to have a little bit of fun with your lines?

"You need to knock off the funny guy act. We don't have any time for that in theatre," Magnus remarked.

He was wearing gold eyeliner. It reflected nicely in the lights of the stage.

Alec blinked.

"Sorry, I didn't realize you weren't allowed to have fun here," he said, his arms crossing over his chest, "I'll keep that in mind."

Magnus scoffed at him. "Don't be ridiculous, of course we have fun. But we realize that, first, there's work that needs to be done."

Clary was nodding along to everything that Magnus said. Alec couldn't believe this was his life.

"Clary here is a very serious actress. She won't put up with your playing around, Alec," Magnus said seriously.

Alec sighed. Of course there was nothing else for him to do except nod, accepting that this really was going to be the worst two months of his life.

"I'm sorry, Clary," he told the girl, who looked at him with wide green eyes. She probably hadn't been expecting him to apologize. "And I'm sorry, Magnus," he said quietly, "I won't make you regret choosing me for the part."

Magnus' brown eyes sparkled like the gold around his eyes. "I'm glad to hear it."

***

Two weeks passed, and although Alec and Clary weren't bickering every two minutes, it was clear there was still a lack of chemistry between them. Clary didn't like him, and Alec only tolerated the younger girl.

Alec knew there had to be a way they could connect enough to get their roles down successfully, but he wasn't sure what it was.

One day, after rehearsals, Alec lingered in the auditorium. He wanted to catch Magnus and maybe ask him if he had any suggestions for what Clary and Alec could do for their lack of chemistry. Magnus had been in theatre all four years of high school; this situation had to have happened before.

He approached him carefully, mostly because he still wasn't entirely sure how Magnus felt about him. Obviously Alec appreciated the fact that Magnus had given him the part, but Magnus continued to act like he wasn't too fond of Alec.

Basically, Alec was confused, but he hadn't joined theatre to figure out the enigma that was Magnus Bane.

He'd joined to get his credit and he wanted to do the best job he could do.

"Magnus," he called out, turning the other man's attention on him.

Magnus had been speaking to an understudy, but when Alec called his name, he looked up at him.

"I'm a bit busy at the moment," he huffed.

Alec glared at the understudy. The understudy seemed to get the message, and with a murmured apology to Magnus, he jetted out the door.

"You are unbelievable. What could possibly be so important that you had to scare off my poor understudy?" Magnus asked.

He leaned up against the wall nearest to him, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. Alec, out of nowhere, happened to notice how brightly colored red his pants were.

"Your pants are very red," he remarked before his brain-to-mouth filter could prevent him from doing so.

Magnus gave Alec a questioning look. "You scared my understudy off so you could tell me my pants are very red? In case you weren't sure, I'm already very much aware—"

"No, I didn't—" Alec interrupted, feeling his cheeks grow warm. He had no idea why he had said that. There was something about Magnus that constantly made him feel like he was tripping up. "I wanted to talk to you about Clary and I."

"Oh, God, do you have feelings for her? Because, no offense, of course, but she can't stand you."

Alec let out a surprised laugh at Magnus' honesty and at the absurd idea. "Absolutely not. I actually wanted to talk to you about the chemistry that Clary and I are clearly lacking. I want — I want to do the best I can with this, and if Clary and I can't get past the fact that we hate each other...well."

Magnus gave him an unreadable look. Alec had no idea what to make of it, but it still sent a spark of heat traveling up his spine.

"I—" Magnus started, and then looked away, his brown eyes staring at the ugly dark green of the carpet. Alec realized that they'd been staring at each other and he quickly diverted his gaze as well. "You could always try hanging out after school hours. Take her to dinner or something, get to know each other better," Magnus suggested.

Alec was still embarrassed that he'd been caught staring at Magnus, and not for the first time, either. There was just something about Magnus that made him want to look at him and...well, and never look away.

That probably wasn't normal, Alec thought to himself. No, that _definitely_ wasn't normal.

"Thank you," Alec murmured, and then he was gone, quick as the understudy.

***

Alec decided to drag Izzy along with him to lunch with Clary that Saturday. Despite the fact that this lunch was supposed to be a bonding event between Alec and Clary, Alec couldn't imagine being alone with her.

He just hoped that Clary and his sister would get along. He didn't really doubt that they would; Izzy was a social butterfly, someone who made friends with everyone she met.

The restaurant they were meeting at was a local one. It didn't have the best food but the prices were low enough to make up for it. With how close they lived to the city, it was often hard finding cheap restaurants to go to.

"I can't believe I'm meeting your love interest," Izzy gushed, "This is so exciting."

"My love interest in the _play_ , Iz. And the only reason you're meeting her is because I'm afraid we'd strangle each other if we were left alone together."

Izzy rolled her eyes as they pulled into the parking lot. As soon as Alec's car came to a stop she hopped out, making her way to the restaurant.

Alec had to hurry after her. He had no idea how someone with such large heels could walk so fast.

"What's she look like again?" Izzy inquired, pulling the door open. She held the door for Alec as she waited for him to catch up, a smug grin on her face all the while.

"Bright red hair. You can't miss her," Alec grumbled. He took the weight of the door from her and both of them stepped inside.

Izzy looked around, as did Alec. Eventually Izzy's eyes brightened and she looked up at Alec, clearly excited.

"Is she the one sitting next to the guy who's kind of nerd hot?"

Alec gave her a shrug. How was he supposed to know what nerd hot looked like? And why would Clary have brought a guy with her, unless it was her boyfriend?

He looked where Izzy's eyes were and saw that it was, indeed, Clary. Alec had no idea who the guy was, but he _had_ seen him in the audience at some of the rehearsals. He was probably Clary's boyfriend.

He walked Izzy over to the table, and before he could so much as introduce her to Clary, Izzy was holding her hand out for Simon to take.

"I'm Isabelle," she introduced, a charming smile on her lips.

Oh god, Izzy was flirting with Clary's boyfriend. This was _not_  going to end well for anyone here.

"Iz—" Alec started, but the guy interrupted him.

"I'm Lewis. Simon Lewis. Not — not Lewis, just Simon. Lewis is my last name," the guy, Simon, stammered.

Clary snorted. Alec quickly looked over at her, expecting her to be angry, but she actually seemed amused. Alec couldn't imagine why.

"Alec, this is my best friend, Simon Lewis. He's a member of the band," Clary said. "And I'm guessing this is your sister, based off of how much you look alike?"

Alec felt like a weight had been physically lifted from his shoulders. Simon wasn't Clary's boyfriend. He probably shouldn't have assumed, but. Well. It was like him to assume the worst.

He then focused on the question Clary had asked him. "Yeah, yeah, this is my younger sister, Izzy."

Izzy waved at Clary and Clary waved back at her, both of the girls smiling at each other.

"Let me just say, I was so excited to meet you," Izzy confessed as she slid into her booth. Alec slid in next to her and decided to flip through his menu.

Clary gave Izzy an inquiring look. "You were excited to meet me? How come?"

"Because you're playing my brother's love interest!" Izzy exclaimed. "That's exciting, isn't it?"

"I mean...it's just acting. I've had love interests in past plays," Clary said lightly. "Plus, I'm sure Alec has told you that we're not each other's biggest fans."

Alec grimaced at that. "I haven't said anything—"

"It's alright if you have. I told Simon that you were an arrogant, self-concerned jock who only joined the theatre for a laugh. It's only fair if you told your sister something about me."

"I kind of invited her because I was afraid you and I would strangle each other if we were alone," Alec admitted sheepishly.

Suddenly, Clary began to laugh. "Hey, that's why I invited Simon, too."

"What? You didn't tell me that!" Simon exclaimed.

"Well, just look at it this way," Izzy said, "If she hadn't invited you, we would have never met."

Simon's brown eyes were huge behind his black-rimmed glasses. His cheeks were beginning to pink.

"R-Right, yeah, that's a...great point," he agreed.

Alec wasn't sure how Izzy was able to have people fall in love with her mere minutes after meeting her, but it happened every time, and Simon and Clary were no exception. By the time everyone's food had arrived, Clary and Izzy seemed as if they were the best of friends, and Simon kept staring at her like she was a goddess.

Alec was pretty sure Izzy could tell, too, but she didn't seem to mind. If anything, he thought she found Simon's admiration of her endearing.

"So, you guys should order dessert," Izzy said, standing up from the booth. Alec gave her a puzzled look as she placed money on the table. "What? Simon and I are getting ice cream across the street so you and Clary can bond. Isn't that right, Simon?"

Simon clearly hadn't been informed of this but he still nodded, hurriedly standing up. He looked like a puppy as he followed Izzy out of the restaurant.

"He's had a crush on her since forever," Clary admitted once they were out the door.

Alec raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Oh, don't look so surprised. It's not like he's been discreet about it."

"I just — didn't know Izzy had admirers," Alec said.

It was Clary's turn to look surprised. "Alec, both you _and_  your sister have admirers. You seriously didn't know that?"

"Well, I knew about mine," Alec confessed, his lips quirking into a smirk.

"I wish you wouldn't do that," Clary said with a roll of her eyes. "It happens every time. We'll be having a perfectly fine conversation and then you get all..." She waved her arms around, gesturing vaguely toward Alec. "Like _that_."

"Is that why you dislike me?" Alec asked.

Clary shook her head. "I don't dislike you, Alec. I mean, you're not completely terrible—"

Alec snorted.

"No, I'm serious!" Clary exclaimed. "When Magnus first cast you, I thought you were terrible. I thought he had made a mistake. But I decided to trust his judgement, and now I realize that he saw something in you. Potential, I guess. I just...get angry when you don't use it."

It was hard to believe that Magnus had seen potential in him when Alec had been so awful to him during their first couple of meetings. Still, he knew that Clary had a point.

"How do I not use my potential?" Alec asked, surprising himself with how genuine his voice was.

"Not taking the play seriously, for one. I know that doing well in this play means something to you, yet you act like it's all a joke, and that's — it's not necessary. You know what I mean?"

Slowly, Alec nodded. A part of him wanted to tell Clary that she had no idea what she was talking about, but it'd be a lie. She clearly knew exactly what she was talking about.

"I'll start taking it seriously," Alec said, quietly, "I know it's not a joke, to you, or Magnus, or anyone. And maybe I'll start actually trying to learn my lines, too."

Clary let out a huff, but she was smiling. "That's all I ask. Well, your best effort is all anyone asks in theatre, actually."

"I can't believe we're agreeing on something," Alec said.

"It's crazy to me, too," Clary laughed. "Hey, you want to split a chocolate goblet?"

And that was that.

***

Alec went through with his promise to Clary to try his best, and the next week was spent with him trying to rehearse his lines from memory. It definitely wasn't as easy as Alec had initially thought it was going to be. Clary was practically an expert by now, so whenever they rehearsed together, she had every single one of her lines perfected. Alec had no idea how she did it.

Still, it made him feel like he was lacking somehow. Clary assured him that it was because he was new, but Alec couldn't help wondering what would happen if he didn't remember his lines by the night of the play.

(Which, to be fair, was still quite some time away. Alec stood by the belief that being around these theatre kids for too long was making him dramatic.)

On Friday, Alec lingered in the auditorium. He stayed until he was sure everyone else had left, wanting to go over his lines by memory while no one was around — especially not Clary.

He was stood on the stage, script in hand for reference when he messed up a line. Initially he had been doing pretty well — he had his first few lines completely remembered.

But then he got towards the middle of his scene, and it all went downhill.

"No. You're not Down East. You're up north. And this is — this is how we..."

Alec cut off with a groan. He looked at his script. The line was, _'This is how we talk up here, pretty much.'_

How could he not remember that? It was simple enough.

He began to pace the stage, practicing the lines he already knew until he fucked those up, too. He was frustrated now, pulling at his hair and ready to leave, when he heard footsteps behind him.

Alec quickly spun around, his cheeks warming at who it was.

Magnus.

"You know, it's really not easy practicing with only yourself."

Alec did a quick once-over. Magnus looked...nice. He was wearing black khakis with a maroon button-down tucked into them, the sleeves rolled up to a little past his elbows. Alec wasn't sure _why_ his sleeves were rolled but, well, he wasn't exactly complaining.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I was about to have a janitor lock up when, to my surprise, I saw someone pacing back and forth on the stage."

Alec's eyes widened. "Am I not allowed to be here?"

"Most janitors are here until eight, sometimes later. I think you're fine."

Alec nodded. He looked down at his script and then back up at Magnus, an idea forming in his head.

"Magnus, could you help me?"

Magnus gave him an eyebrow raise. "Depends on what you need help with."

Alec held his script up, and Magnus seemed to understand what he was asking.

"I just—" Alec started. "There's this one scene, towards the end, and I can't get the hang of it. I think it's all of the emotions that are displayed in it, I'm not—I'm not good at that, you know?"

Magnus gave him a look, similar to the one he'd given Alec when Alec had gone to him for advice about what to do with Clary. It was starting to bother Alec; the fact that he had no idea what Magnus was thinking.

"Why do you look like that?" Alec asked before he lost the nerve.

Magnus shrugged. He looked away from Alec, but not before taking the script from his hands.

"I didn't realize that you cared so much about this play, about doing well. It's surprising."

"I guess you could say I've gotten used to hiding my emotions," Alec murmured offhandedly. Magnus shot him an inquiring look but Alec's eyes quickly shied away from his. He hadn't meant to say that. Snatching the script back from Magnus' hands, he said, "You're gonna have to get your own. There's no way I have this memorized."

Magnus let out a soft laugh and disappeared backstage. In only a couple of minutes he was back, script in hand.

"You start out so I know what scene we're doing," Magnus said, standing opposite of Alec.

Alec took a breath, immediately getting into character. "Why should you apologize?"

"Because!" Magnus exclaimed.

"Because why?!"

"Because I killed him!"

Alec reacted as his character would. He took a step back, his features very evidently in shock.

"Oh."

"See, he had come to me when I was in recovery from when they put my artificial heart in — I was almost better; I was just about to go home, too — and he said he wanted me back. And I said, "Wes, I have a new heart now. I'm sorry...it doesn't want you back..." And that just killed him."

Alec let out a breath of relief. "Oh. But, it didn't kill him, you didn't _kill_ him—"

Magnus took a step forward. His eyes were wide with emotion, and Alec wondered briefly how he could be so in tune with a character who wasn't even his own.

"Yes, I did! Because he got so sad that my new heart didn't want him back, that he just tore outta the hospital, and...an ambulance that was comin' in from an emergency didn't see him and just...took him right out, and if I'd have been able to take him back—"

"Glory," interrupted Alec softly.

"He wouldn't have torn outta there like that—"

"Glory!" Alec exclaimed, adding more force to his voice this time, trying to get Magnus' character to stop blaming herself.

"And been just taken out like that, and so, I just feel that, for closure, the right thing to do is—"

Alec took the last step to close the distance between them. He grasped Magnus' shoulders tightly, and Magnus looked up at him, his eyes wide and expressive. This was supposed to be a kiss scene, but, well, Alec wasn't going to do that. He figured grasping Magnus by the shoulders and closing the distance between them would be enough.

"Please don't do that anymore," Magnus begged, his voice soft but clearly emotional.

"Why?" Alec asked. "I love you."

The words felt strange coming out of his mouth, even if he was only acting. Maybe it was the way Magnus was looking up at him, so vulnerably — it was messing with Alec's head.

Magnus set his jaw. "Well, don't."

"Why?"

Magnus' eyes flickered down to the stage. When he looked back up at Alec, his lips were slightly parted, and his face was a mask of regret for what he was about to say.

"Because I won't be able to love you back," Magnus confessed, "I have a heart that can pump my blood and that's all. The one that does the other stuff is broken. It doesn't work anymore."

Another kiss scene. Alec took a deep breath and reached out, slowly moving his hands from Magnus' shoulders to his face, cupping his cheeks. He brushed his thumb across one of Magnus' cheekbones and Magnus' lips parted once more, clearly in surprise.

But he didn't back away, simply stared at Alec with those wide eyes of his. From close up, Alec could see little flecks of gold in the brown.

"Please let me have this," he breathed desperately.

"I—" Magnus started, but he didn't finish. It was apparent he had forgotten his line. Alec's eyes looked briefly down at the script, but then he realized something; he didn't care about the line. So caught up in the emotions of the scene and the intensity of the moment, he leaned in, locking his lips with Magnus'.

Magnus let out a murmur of surprise but then he was kissing him back, immediately pouring all of himself into the kiss. His arms wrapped around Alec's neck in order to pull him closer until there was absolutely no space between them.

Alec hadn't ever experienced a kiss like this before. Magnus' lips were rough on his, passionate, and there was something about it that made Alec feel like he couldn't breathe, like his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

Magnus' tongue traced Alec's bottom lip and Alec opened his mouth, a breathless moan escaping him when their tongues met in the middle. Magnus moved slightly as if he was about to pull away and Alec almost reached out to pull him back, to tell him to never stop, but he didn't back away; only tilted his head a bit to the side to find a better angle. Their lips joined once more and their tongues moved together and it was better, this way, somehow.

Alec had no idea how a simple kiss could make him feel so much, but, god, it did. It really, really did. He could feel Magnus' warm breath in the pants he let out against Alec's lips, could feel the tight grasp of Magnus' hands on the back of his shirt. One of Alec's own hands began to move downwards, his fingers running lightly across the smooth skin of Magnus' neck.

He felt Magnus shiver against him and Alec couldn't help but smile against Magnus' lips, his reaction incredibly pleasing to Alec.

Alec could have stayed here forever, his lips moving heatedly with Magnus' own, their bodies pressed together, hands reaching for skin, if it weren't for a fleeting thought that came to Alec's mind; he and Lydia hadn't ever kissed like this before, not even close.

 _Lydia._ His _girlfriend_ , Lydia.

The thought was like a slap to the face. Alec backed away as if he'd been struck, still breathing heavy. Magnus' eyes were closed, but when Alec pulled away, he slowly opened them.

Magnus looked a mixture of surprised and worried, unsure of what to expect from Alec.

"My parents, they, uh—" Alec stammered. It was hard to concentrate when he could still feel the phantom touch of Magnus' lips on his own. "I'm supposed to be home for family dinner by six-thirty. I'm p-probably late, I'm sorry."

Magnus' mouth opened as if to respond, but Alec had already turned away, hurrying out of the auditorium.

It was only once Alec had made his way out of the school that he realized he still couldn't breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't kill me for the cliffhanger?? 
> 
> Come talk to me about malec on my tumblr: bisexualluke!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii everyone! I'm back from my vacation :) updates will probably (hopefully?) start being more regular now because I'm all done with my summer work for school as well. 
> 
> Also, I wanted to make a little note about what grade each of the characters are in, just in case anyone was wondering.
> 
> Seniors:   
> • Alec, Magnus, Lydia, Raphael
> 
> Juniors:  
> • Clary, Simon, Jace
> 
> Sophomore:  
> • Izzy
> 
> And no freshmen haha!
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you so much for all of the comments left on the last chapter, you guys are amazing <3

  
Alec spent his entire weekend worrying about seeing Magnus again. He knew he would have to face him eventually, but Alec had no idea how he was going to tell him that the kiss they'd shared had been a mistake.

In truth, he didn't  _want_ to tell Magnus that. If it were up to Alec, he'd want to kiss him again, maybe — just because of how amazing it had felt, in a way that Alec hadn't ever experienced before.

But there was no way that could happen. Alec had a girlfriend, and Magnus was, well...Magnus was a boy. No one could know that Alec had kissed him and that he'd enjoyed it ten times more than any of the kisses he had ever shared with Lydia.

So Alec would keep it to himself and nothing would ever become of it; at least, that was best case scenario.

On Monday, Alec told Clary that he wanted to rehearse today without any distractions.

"Usually you _want_  to be distracted," Clary told him, her voice teasing. "Why is today any different?"

"Uh—" Alec stammered. He had hoped that Clary would just go along with it — he should've known better. "This scene, it's — really intense? And I think we need to devote our full attention to it. You know?"

Clary continued to look skeptical, but eventually she shook her head in agreement with what Alec had said.

They were rehearsing the scene that Alec had practiced with Magnus. Alec knew it was because he hadn't perfected the scene yet, but he hated doing it over again. All it brought to his mind was memories of his body pressed close to Magnus', of his hands on Magnus' face, their lips joining...it was exactly what Alec _didn't_ want to be thinking about right now.

Magnus wandered over towards the end of the rehearsal, and to Alec's surprise, Clary shooed him away. She used the excuse that Alec had given her about needing to focus on the scene.

Alec couldn't believe it. Maybe he wouldn't have to face Magnus today, after all.

He kept that train of thought until he was walking out of the auditorium, or, at least, until he was about to walk out. He felt a hand wrap around his bicep and give a gentle tug before he could leave.

Alec's heart stuttered. He immediately knew who it was, but he turned around anyway.

Sure enough, Magnus' brown eyes met his. He had a small frown playing on his lips.

"We need to talk," he said stonily.

Alec crossed his arms over his chest. "I don't know what you mean. There's nothing to talk about."

Magnus let out a humorless laugh. "God, I didn't expect you to be so typical," he retorted.

"Look, I don't know why you're upset," Alec said. It was a lie. "You know just as well as I do that our kiss was a mistake; nothing more than that."

"Oh, right," Magnus agreed, his voice laced with venom. "I forgot that there's absolutely no way you could enjoy kissing another boy because of how straight you are, right?"

Alec's lips pursed. For once, he didn't know what to say.

Magnus leaned in slightly. "Because, just between you and me, you didn't seem very straight to me when you were sticking your tongue down my throat," he whispered.

Abruptly, Alec backed away. He could feel his cheeks turning a violent pink color.

"That stays between us, okay?" Alec said urgently. "No one else can know—"

Magnus rolled his eyes. He looked like he regretted talking to Alec in the first place.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. Go back to the safety of your closet."

Alec wanted to be mad at those words. He wanted to stop Magnus from walking away and tell him how dare he say something like that to him.

But he couldn't muster up the strength to be angry; he was just scared.

He only stared at Magnus' retreating form for a second before he walked out of the auditorium doors.

***

When Alec arrived home, all he wanted to do was wrap himself up in his schoolwork to take his mind off of everything with Magnus — maybe take a hot shower, too.

As he made his way up to his bedroom to do exactly that, he saw his younger sister sitting on his bed, a visibly upset expression on her face.

Alec didn't even think twice before sitting down next to her. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, Iz?" Alec murmured. It felt wrong to speak any louder than that.

"I broke up with Raphael. He didn't take it well."

Alec's hands balled into fists. He wanted to be happy that Izzy had broken up with that dickhead, but first...

"I know what you're thinking," Izzy said, drawing him away from his thoughts. "You're not going to beat him up."

Alec pouted. "I mean... _I could_."

"Yes, you've made it perfectly clear that you _could_ , but you're not going to because your little sister is nicely asking you not to."

Well, when she put it like that...

"Listen," Izzy said, separating herself from her brother so she could meet his eyes. "I feel like we're always talking about me and my relationships. I'm tired of that. Let's talk about you."

Alec probably should have thought about Lydia first. Instead, his mind drifted to Magnus and their kiss.

His cheeks flushed.

"Ooh, I'm taking that blush on your cheeks to mean something happened with Lydia," Izzy said in a sing-song voice. Her fingers reached out to pinch her brother's pink cheeks, but Alec swatted her hand away before she could.

"Lydia," he repeated, more to himself than Izzy. He needed to focus on her, his girlfriend, not a brief kiss that didn't even mean anything. "No, there's...nothing to tell."

Izzy stood from the bed, her hands going to her hips. "Are you unhappy with Lydia or something?" she exclaimed.

Alec gaped. He hadn't been expecting Izzy to go from sad to angry so quickly. "What — I — no..."

"Because Lydia tells me the same thing whenever I ask how you two are. She says there's nothing to tell, that you two are _fine_. Clearly you two aren't fine if you've been dating for almost a year and I'm not even sure you two _like_  each other!"

Alec stared down at his feet. He couldn't meet Izzy's eyes. This conversation was hitting a little too close to home.

Alec's quietness must have made Izzy feel bad, as she let out a quiet sigh to calm herself down.

"Alec, I don't...I'm not trying to be a bitch about this. I just worry about you, you know? You never open up to me, and I can't help feeling like you not being happy with Lydia is my fault, since I set you two up together..."

Alec stood up. "Iz, I'm not unhappy with Lydia, okay? I promise. Right now, there's just...things going on that I can't tell you about — that I can't tell anyone, really."

Izzy shook her head. She looked exasperated. "That's the thing, though, Alec. It's not just 'right now'. It's always. Always you can't tell me something, always you shy away from talking to me about your love life. I'm starting to think it's because you don't trust me."

" _No_ , that's not it," Alec tried, but Izzy already had her mind made up that that was exactly what it was.

"I'm going to bed," she said, even though it was only a little bit past seven. "Just know, big bro, that if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I've always been here."

She dejectedly made her way out of the room, closing the door behind her. Alec didn't hesitate before collapsing onto his bed.

He ran his hands through his hair. Everything felt so horrible right now. He'd fucked things up with Magnus, and now things were fucked up with Izzy, too — not to mention that he could barely meet his girlfriend's eyes without feeling the shame of what he had done.

He just wanted things to go back to the way they were, before Magnus and before drama club.

But he knew they never could.

***

To Alec's surprise, Izzy started attending rehearsals. At first Alec had assumed that it was to see what her brother did at these things, but then he saw who she was sitting by — Simon Lewis, Clary's best friend who had taken an interest in Izzy.

Alec was a bit distracted after that. He wanted to keep an eye on his little sister and make sure Simon didn't pull anything but, well, he supposed Simon _was_  better than Raphael.

He focused back on Clary. She smiled knowingly at him and Alec gave her a playful shove.

"He better not hurt her," he told her quietly.

Clary shook her head. "He wouldn't ever. I think he's still kind of shocked that he's dating Isabelle Lightwood."

"Wait," Alec said. Those words had gotten his attention. "They're _dating_?"

"Yeah. Have been for about a week."

He would have to talk to Izzy about it later. Clearly Izzy wasn't talking to him because Alec wouldn't talk to her. He and Izzy had always had such a close relationship, and Alec knew a lack of communication would ruin it. He couldn't allow that to happen.

Maybe he could make something up, say that something happened with Lydia that didn't...

Alec shook his head at himself. He couldn't _lie_ to Izzy, that wouldn't make anything better, but he couldn't possibly tell her what had happened with Magnus.

"Alec," Clary called. Alec blinked distractedly. "Are you alright? You look lost in your mind."

"I'm fine," Alec said, "Let's just focus on finishing this scene."

***

Alec tried to be as casual as possible when he talked to Izzy that night. It was after dinner, and both of them were in the living room, doing homework together.

"So, what's going on with that Lewis boy?" Alec asked, quiet enough that neither of their parents could hear. They were in the kitchen, but it was better safe than sorry with them.

A small smile crossed Izzy's face as she looked down at her book. "Nothing much. He's just...really nice."

Alec couldn't help smiling, too. "I'm glad to hear it. You deserve someone nice after that asshole you were with."

Izzy chuckled but then her face shifted into something else, an emotion that Alec couldn't decipher. She chewed nervously on her bottom lip as she said, "I heard something today, Alec, and I need to know if it's true."

Alec had no idea what she could be referring to, but the earnest look on her face was enough to have his anxiety rearing up.

"Yeah, go ahead," he murmured.

"Don't get mad. It's just something I heard," Izzy whispered, her brown eyes wide. "I was in the lunch line behind Magnus and I, kind of, heard him tell Clary that you kissed him."

And suddenly Alec couldn't breathe. He abruptly looked away from Izzy, unable to meet her eyes now that she knew the truth. She must have been so disgusted to hear that, and then she could tell their parents—

"Is it true?" Izzy asked.

Alec opened his mouth to respond and found that he couldn't say anything. He really couldn't breathe — every time he tried it felt like he was choking.

Izzy must have been able to sense this because she had him put his head between his knees, gently rubbing his back as he heaved in breaths.

"It's okay," she assured quietly, "I don't mind if it's true—"

"It's not," Alec rushed out, his eyes wide and frantic.

Izzy gave him a small, sad smile. There was only sympathy in her voice when she said, "Alec, I don't think you'd be this worked up if it wasn't true."

There was no denying it now; Izzy knew the truth. Alec looked over at her, his eyes wide and frantic. "Please, Izzy, you can't...you _can't_  tell Mom and Dad," he pleaded.

"I won't! I swear, Alec, I won't," she promised. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tight, her eyes squeezing shut as she did so. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I thought — I thought you would've told Mom and Dad, or...you would've been _disgusted_  in me. I'm supposed to be the perfect student, with the perfect girlfriend, and instead I'm off kissing this boy—"

"Wait, it happened multiple times?" Izzy asked, her eyes regaining some of their shiny enthusiasm.

Alec put his head in his hands and groaned. " _No_ , it happened once. I'm still with Lydia. I'm _staying_  with Lydia. What happened with Magnus was a mistake and I made that perfectly clear."

"If you're sure," Izzy responded quietly.

It was quiet between them for a few seconds, until Alec said, "Thanks for being cool about it."

Izzy smiled a bright smile. "Of course, big bro."

That was when a thought came to Alec's mind, and not a pleasant one. His anxiety had slowly been starting to dissipate but it started right back up again, mixed with a deep anger he wasn't sure he'd ever felt before.

" _Izzy_ , if you overheard Magnus talking to Clary, then who's to say someone else didn't hear too? The whole school could know by now."

Alec abruptly stood up, starting to pace.

"Alec, I'm sure that's not—"

"I _told_  him, I told him not to tell anyone, and he swore he wouldn't—"

"Alec—"

"He just doesn't care, because he's not closeted. He doesn't realize that this is my entire life on the line. Oh my god, we are _so_ going to talk tomorrow."

Izzy stood up too. "Alec, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I really think it was just a coincidence—"

Alec turned around to face her. They were still whispering so their parents couldn't hear. "Even if you were the only one to hear, what if you hadn't been? Magnus needs to realize what he's doing by telling everyone he knows about that... _stupid_ kiss."

"I'm sure he hasn't been telling _everyone_ ," Izzy said, but Alec had already made up his mind, and he knew she could tell.

***

Alec arrived to rehearsals early and wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. He immediately spotted Magnus sat on the edge of the stage, dressed in navy blue khakis and a light gray button-up with the sleeves rolled up.

Alec hated himself for thinking that he looked good.

Magnus' eyes fluttered upwards as Alec began making his way down the walkway. He had a textbook in his hands, but he set it aside at the sight of Alec.

"You look angry, which is ironic, because if anyone has the right to be angry, it's me," he quipped.

Alec gaped at him. "Oh, really? I didn't realize I was the one telling all of my friends that I kissed someone who's clearly in the closet."

Magnus didn't respond, but he looked confused, so Alec continued to talk. He stood on the floor in front of Magnus, who was a good couple of feet higher than him on the stage.

"I told you, _begged_ you, to keep it between us, and you had to go and tell everyone, the entire school probably knows at this point—"

"What?!" Magnus exclaimed, his face a mask of confusion and worry. "Alec, if this is about the kiss, I didn't tell anyone."

Alec couldn't believe that Magnus was lying straight to his face. "Then tell me how my sister found out and confronted me about it last night."

Magnus' eyes lit up in recognition. "Oh, I did... _Clary_...But she swore she wouldn't tell..."

"She didn't, Izzy was behind you guys in the lunch line. Honestly, Magnus, telling Clary at _lunch_? The most public place in school where _anyone_ could've heard?"

Magnus hopped down from the stage and landed right in front of Alec, effectively preventing Alec from breathing.

"Alec, I'm sincerely sorry. I didn't think anyone had overheard, especially not your sister," Magnus murmured, his entire demeanor shifting into something humble and apologetic.

Alec couldn't find it in himself to be mad when Magnus was in front of him, giving him that _look_. Alec looked down at his shoes and tried focusing on how to breathe properly.

"It's alright. She — she took it really well. She knew that I had been hiding something from her and it was affecting our relationship, but. Well. Now that she knows, it's made us a lot closer."

When Alec looked up again, Magnus had a small smile on his lips.

"I'm glad to hear it," he said.

God, they really were close. Alec was all too suddenly reminded of the kiss, and he could see how it had happened, how easy it would be to lean in and—

"Wow, you two are here early!"

Alec spun around so fast he almost got whiplash. Simon had been the one to speak, accompanied by both Clary and Izzy. The two girls were giving Magnus and Alec knowing looks, but Simon remained oblivious.

"Duty calls," Magnus mouthed to Alec, and then he was walking over to the trio.

Alec stared after him, trying to ignore the furious beating of his heart.

He blamed it on being startled by Simon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suuuure, that's what it was, Alec.
> 
> Next chapter was probably one of my favorites to write! I'm hoping to have it up on/by Sunday.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo :) here's the chapter as promised! I actually added a couple more chapters overall because the direction I wanted the story go in changed a bit (which is a nice way of saying more angst, whoops!).
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter and don't forget to leave feedback, I love reading what you guys have to say!

Before Alec knew it, a month of rehearsals had gone by and it was the day before opening night.

At the last rehearsal, Alec could see all of his cast mates talking enthusiastically amongst each other, but he didn't know what about. At first he had assumed it was just about the play, but then he had heard multiple people tell Magnus that they would see him later.

He brought it up to Clary while he was walking her to her car.

"Do you know what everyone's talking about that is apparently happening tonight?" He asked, trying not to sound to bitter.

Clary's eyes lit up. "Oh, yeah, the sleepover! You haven't heard about it yet?"

"No," Alec grumbled.

"Right. Well, every night before opening night we have a sleepover at one of the cast member's houses. It's a nice bonding experience before the play starts, you know? This year it's at Magnus' house, since he did so much for the play and it's his senior year."

That made it click. No wonder Alec hadn't been told; it was at Magnus' house, and Magnus didn't want him there.

"Of course it's at Magnus'," He couldn't help saying.

Clary raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I figured there had to be a reason why I didn't know about it yet. Now I know why; Magnus doesn't want me at his house. I'm not wanted."

"That's not true, Alec. You're very." Clary broke off so she could take Alec by the arms, looking him straight in the face. "You are very much wanted."

Alec couldn't help snorting at her, and Clary snorted too, and then they were laughing.

"So should I show up or not?" He asked as Clary got into her car.

"You should absolutely show up!" she exclaimed. "Take it from me, Magnus would be very disappointed if you didn't."

Alec guessed it was actually the opposite, but he didn't say anything. He waved at Clary and waited for her car to start up before walking to his own.

What did one even wear to a sleepover?

***

"Alec, if you ask me for your help, I'd be happy to help you."

"I don't want your help."

Alec was currently in the middle of putting on his third t-shirt of the evening. He didn't want to wear anything too tight because then it'd look like he was showing off, but all of his loose shirts were either tank tops or didn't match his pajama bottoms.

"Alec, I'm coming in!"

"I'm not dressed!"

It was a lie, hopefully one Izzy couldn't see through.

The door cracked open, and then Izzy was in his room.

"Goddamnit, Izzy."

"Phew, thank god you were lying. I thought you were but I wasn't _sure_ ," she said, nonchalant as ever. She took one look at Alec and immediately began shaking her head. "Alec, number one rule of a sleepover; you don't wear your pajamas _to_ it."

"What," Alec said.

"Can you imagine knocking on Magnus' door looking like a complete bum in your pjs? What if his _mother_ answered the door? It'd be a nightmare, I can assure you."

"I'm sure," Alec mumbled, ready to walk out the door, mismatched pajamas and all.

Izzy looked down at the pile of clothes at Alec's feet. She bent down to pick up a black tank top and held it up to Alec.

"Here, wear this with those gray sweatpants of yours as your pajamas. Magnus won't know what hit him."

Alec flushed. "I'm not trying to impress Magnus."

"Well, you're going to," Izzy said with a shrug. "Now, as for your outfit..."

Fifteen minutes later, Alec was dressed in a light blue t-shirt and black skinny jeans. He stuffed his things (such as his pajamas and toothbrush) into an overnight bag and walked out of his bedroom door.

Izzy was right there waiting for him. She clapped her hands together when she saw his outfit.

"You look great!" she exclaimed, a wide grin on her lips.

Alec rolled his eyes, but couldn't help a small smile of his own. "I'm in jeans and a t-shirt, but thank you, Iz."

"You're welcome," she told him.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek and began making his way downstairs to the front door, but before he could reach it, Izzy was yelling, "Make sure you text me and tell me how your night goes!"

"Okay, Mom!" he yelled back, and then he was out the door.

***

When Alec arrived to the address Clary had given him, he was immediately astounded by how nice Magnus' house was. Even the neighborhood he lived in was impressive — it looked like no house here was under three stories.

Sure, Alec was impressed, but the size of the house did nothing but add to his worries. If he backed out now, no one would really miss him. Clary probably hadn't even told Magnus that he was coming, so the only person who would be disappointed would be Clary. He could live with that.

Alec shook his head at himself. He wouldn't desert his football team if they were having a get-together, so he couldn't desert this team, either.

He sighed, took one look at himself in his rearview mirror, and then got out of the car.

The walk to the front door felt like it took a lifetime. Once Alec made it, he was actually glad.

He put his fist to the front door and knocked before he could change his mind.

Five minutes later, Magnus was opening the door. He was dressed in black silk pajama pants and a matching long-sleeved shirt. It was clear that he had matched his eye-makeup with it, because it was a dark, smoky black.

"Oh, Alec," Magnus said, and he looked genuinely surprised. "Come on in."

Alec didn't look at him as he made his way into the house. He felt awkward that he hadn't been formally invited and that Magnus was inviting him in just to be polite —

"I'm sorry I didn't get to speak with you," Magnus said, steering Alec out of his thoughts. "It wasn't because I didn't want you here. You're just as much a part of this play as anyone else."

Alec turned to look at him. He had a small smile on his lips, and Alec couldn't help smiling back.

"Okay," he murmured, unsure of what else to say. "You, uh, have a really nice place."

"Thank you. My mom's a pediatrician." Magnus then gestured for Alec to follow him as he started walking. "Everyone else is downstairs in the basement; that's where the party is."

"Who else is here?" Alec wondered out loud.

"Well, let's see. There's Clary, Simon, Ragnor, Catarina, Maia, Jem, Aline, and Helen."

Alec was secretly pleased so few people had shown up. He'd been expecting at least twenty — ten was a welcome surprise. He could deal with ten people.

"There's never the whole club here, either because of work or other conflicting plans. Ten is actually a good turn out," Magnus explained.

Alec was spared responding as he came downstairs and Clary wrapped him up in a hug.

"You came!" She squealed.

"I told you I was!" Alec said with a laugh.

Her enthusiasm to see Alec was comforting. Alec wasn't all too close with the other people here, so it was nice to know he had Clary.

Alec looked past Clary at the rest of the basement. His mouth dropped as soon as he saw it. The ceiling had a beautiful blue galaxy wall decor with bright twinkling stars, giving the room an overall blue color. There was a long red leather couch, a love seat, and a few chairs that were facing a flat screen tv on the wall. There were also two large speakers on the floor by the tv, which were already playing pop music. Alec looked to his right and saw a bar lit up with multiple bar stools.

"Cool, right?" Clary asked him about the room, which was about the understatement of the century.

"Really cool," Alec agreed as the three of them joined the rest of the party. They were all in a circle, munching on snacks and laughing.

"You're just in time! We're getting ready to play Never Have I Ever," Simon exclaimed with a smile.

Alec cautiously returned it, still unable to believe that he and Izzy were dating. It'd been so quick and unexpected.

Magnus sat in between Ragnor and Catarina, while Alec sat across from him next to Clary and Maia.

Magnus started the game out since it was his party. Alec was surprised to see him pull out a bottle of liquor and shot glasses, but he didn't say anything. It obviously wouldn't be his first time drinking.

"Never have I ever played a sport."

Alec gaped at him. That was _clearly_ directed at him and Magnus knew it, based on the dirty smirk he gave him. Alec raised his glass to be filled as did Maia and Aline, since they were both on the girls lacrosse team.

Most of the questions started out fairly innocent; never have I ever been out of the country, never have I ever smoked weed, things like that.

But then Simon said, "Never have I ever had sex."

Alec's breath caught in his throat. He could lie and hold his glass out, but he'd prefer not to drink anymore than he had to tonight. He hadn't had too much to drink but he'd definitely passed the point of sober.

His eyes flickered over to Magnus and saw that his glass was at his lips. He was regarding Alec with a curious look, though he didn't say anything. Alec had to look away when he tipped his head back for the shot.

"Never have I ever kissed a girl," Clary said triumphantly. It was clearly directed at the guys and Aline and Helen.

"Not nice, Clary," Aline teased with a smile. She and Helen both took their shots before sharing a lengthy kiss.

"You're missing out," Helen said decidedly.

"Well, since two can play at that game; never have I ever kissed a boy," Ragnor said.

If Alec had been nervous about the sex question, this one was even worse. His eyes instinctively went to Magnus and Magnus looked at him, clearly seeing the worry in his eyes. Magnus mouthed at him to lie but then...but then Alec did something reckless.

He reached out and poured himself a shot.

"Dude, really?!" Simon asked, his eyes lit up in what appeared to be admiration.

Alec shrugged. "I was drunk. It happens," he lied.

This time, when he looked back over at Magnus, the other boy was smirking. Alec smirked too and then stared down at his lap. He was happy for the dark blue of the room because he was sure he was blushing now.

"I'm telling you, us bisexuals have it rough," Magnus complained with a pout of his lips.

Maia and Helen both high-fived him in agreement.

"And pansexuals," Simon agreed long-sufferingly.

Alec was surprised to see these people be so open about their sexualities. His football team never talked about anything other than girls, girls, and more girls. They never even considered that there were more sexualities than just straight.

But these people...they embraced not being straight with open arms. It was a welcome change from what Alec was used to, even if it placed a longing ache in his chest.

He decided not to think about it.

The game only went on a little bit longer after that. Magnus fixed popcorn and they all munched on that as a movie played on the flat screen tv. Alec hadn't ever seen it so he made sure to pay close attention to the film, despite the fact that just about everyone else had drank enough that they were passed out asleep in minutes.

Except for Magnus. Alec's eyes flickered over to where Magnus was lying on an inflatable bed, wrapped in a blanket. He was fairly close to where Alec was curled up in a leather chair, and when he whispered something to him, Alec was close enough to hear.

"That looks uncomfortable," Magnus said.

He was probably referring to the way Alec was crooking his neck in an attempt to get comfy (it wasn't working).

"I'm fine," Alec whispered back.

Magnus looked unconvinced. "You're welcome to have this, if you'd like. I feel like a bad host."

He gestured to the blow-up mattress, and Alec's cheeks immediately heated.

"You mean, like...share it?" He asked.

The room was illuminated enough by the tv that Alec could see Magnus' eyes go wide before bursting into quiet giggles.

"I meant, me giving this up and you taking the mattress for yourself. Unless you _want_  to share, of course."

Magnus was teasing him now. The tone of his voice in that last sentence made it clear to Alec.

"It's not funny," Alec groaned, "I misunderstood."

Magnus patted the empty space next to him. "There's _plenty_ of room, babe," he crooned.

Alec let out a huff. He was not thinking about Magnus (jokingly) calling him babe, not at all.

"I think I'll survive a night in the chair. Goodnight, Magnus."

He quickly turned around so he wasn't facing Magnus anymore, hoping that sleep would come easy, but, for some reason, he couldn't get his mind to stop replaying their conversation.

***

The next day passed in a blur; or, at least, everything leading up to the play did. Alec had left Magnus' early in the morning because he'd wanted to get some proper sleep in his own bed before it was time to meet up at the school. Since the play started at six-thirty, everyone involved had to be to the school by five.

Alec had made sure that he'd told his family, Lydia, and his team about this being his opening night. All he could hope was that everyone came and supported him.

Two people he knew would definitely be there were Izzy and Lydia. Lydia had texted him a sweet message telling Alec she'd be there and that she wished him luck, though only a few minutes later she had texted him saying apparently it was _bad_ luck to wish someone _good_ luck in theatre, so she hoped he broke a leg instead.

He knew Izzy was going because she'd been buzzing with excitement and questions the entire time Alec had been getting ready.

"Are you nervous?"

"No."

"Do you think you'll become famous after this?"

"...No."

"I mean, you could. Troy Bolton didn't have much experience with theatre and he got a full scholarship to Juilliard."

"Izzy, I'm pretty sure that's completely unrealistic."

"I'm just _saying_. Wait, are you getting ready to leave?"

"Yes, thank god."

Izzy had huffed at that and pulled her brother into a hug.

"I'll be right there in the front row. Well, maybe not the front row, but I'll be there."

Alec couldn't help a short laugh. "Thanks, Iz. Love you."

"I love you too. Lydia told me not to say good luck, so break a leg!"

His mom had been at work and his dad was off somewhere with Max when Alec left, which he was silently grateful for. He knew they probably would've just hounded him to be the best actor on the stage and given him unneeded anxiety.

Now, Alec was at the school, where he was surprised to see just about all of the cast and a huge spread of food.

He quickly spotted Clary by one of the tables and walked over to her. His voice was panicked as he asked, "Were we supposed to bring food?"

Clary looked up at him, laughing when she saw the clear look of panic evident on his face. "No, only the lower classmen bring food. You're off the hook."

Alec let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He felt like this club was just starting to like him; he didn't want to screw things up by not bringing food for opening night.

He saw that Clary already had a plate, so he went over to the food table and fixed his own. His nerves made it so that he really wasn't all too hungry, and by the time he made it back to Clary's table, all he had on his plate was macaroni and some cubed fruit.

Magnus and a few other members of the club had joined the table. When Alec sat down, Magnus took one look at his plate and shook his head.

"That's pitiful, you know," he told him.

Alec shrugged. Of course he couldn't tell Magnus how nervous he was; the other boy had probably been doing shows like this since he was in elementary school.

"If you're worried about throwing it up, I'll let you know that's only happened a couple of times. And only once on stage," Magnus said.

Alec had just taken a bite of macaroni. He almost spit it out at Magnus' words.

"That's actually happened before?!"

Clary gently slapped Magnus' arm as Magnus' lips split into a shit-eating grin. She said to him, "Don't be rude," and then turned to Alec with a sober expression on her face. "I can assure you that has never happened before. At least not at this high school."

Something about the smug grin on Magnus' lips made Alec's blood boil. He'd thought that the two of them had been getting along fine, but lately Magnus was taking any chance he got to tease him.

"That's really funny," Alec said, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he stabbed at a watermelon cube. "Make fun of the new guy."

"I thought it was pretty funny," Magnus agreed.

Alec looked up from his plate and met Magnus' eyes in disbelief. Magnus' eyes were unwavering from his and neither of them spoke, seeing as that would be a sign of surrender. Eventually, though, Magnus was forced to talk.

"Look, I'm obviously not being serious. I can tell you're nervous and was trying to lighten the mood with a joke."

"You weren't trying to lighten the mood. You were trying to make me even more nervous than I already am," Alec retorted.

Magnus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, maybe at first, but then I figured you could _take a joke_."

"I thought jokes had to be funny to qualify as a joke?"

"Ha, ha," Magnus said, pronouncing each slowly to show he was being sarcastic. "You know—"

"Oh, hey, my mom is calling me and Alec over!" Clary exclaimed. "We should probably get over there _right now_."  
  
Alec didn't hear Ms. Fray calling them, and when he looked behind him, she was nowhere to be seen. Still, Clary tugged at his sleeve until he stood and led him away from the table.

As soon as they were by themselves, away from everyone else, she turned on him.

"Seriously Alec?!" she exclaimed.

Alec was dumbstruck. He gave a slight shrug to let Clary know he had no idea what she was talking about and Clary gave a long-suffering sigh.

"You like Magnus," she said despairingly.

Alec laughed. "I can't stand Magnus."

She gave him a look that said she was being dead serious. "You were just heavily flirting with Magnus," she whisper-hissed.

Alec felt his mouth go dry. He wanted to say obviously that wasn't flirting, that was two people arguing because they couldn't stand each other, but. But he couldn't deny the way his heart raced as he thought of a comeback to something Magnus had said, the thrill he got just from talking to him — even if Magnus was teasing him.

Suddenly it made sense; the long looks they shared, Alec somehow always checking out what Magnus was wearing and how it looked on him, even though he normally couldn't care less about things like that. Just...everything.

"Jesus Christ, Clary," he choked out.

He couldn't like Magnus. Liking the kiss they'd shared and actually liking Magnus were two completely different molehills. Of course Alec had to go and fall down both of them.

"Why did you tell me this?"

Clary gave him an 'isn't it obvious?' look. "You're closeted, Alec," she said gently, no hint of animosity in her voice. "If I can tell that you like Magnus, who's to say that someone else who sees you two together wouldn't be able to tell, too?"

Alec's heart was beating too fast for his chest, and each breath was a struggle. He was torn between being grateful for Clary and wanting to tell her that none of this was her business.

He settled for somewhere in between.

"Look, I get that you're trying to help me out, and I thank you for that. But did you have to tell me an hour before the play starts? _Fuck_."

"I had to tell you before you and Magnus started angrily making out across the table," Clary responded.

Alec glared at her. "That wouldn't have happened and you know it."

"I know nothing and you two looked pretty close to doing exactly that."

Alec didn't know what to say in response. His mind was scrambled and he needed at least ten minutes by himself to deal with this new revelation.

"Do you mind going back to Magnus? I need a minute," he told Clary quietly.

Clary gave him a worried look. "I'm sorry, I didn't...I didn't mean to be—"

"It's okay," Alec interrupted, "I just need you to promise me something, okay?"

"What?"

"You can't tell Magnus I like him. It would make things so awkward and..."

"Of course I won't tell him," Clary said. "He's my best friend but you're my friend, too. I'll even try to figure out if he likes you back."

"Please don—"

Alec didn't get to finish. Clary gave him her award-winning smile and walked off to join the others.

Now by himself, Alec propped his head against the wall in front of him and took a deep breath. He wanted to be shocked by this information, but he wasn't. Mostly he was just surprised by how much sense everything made. He now knew why kissing Magnus and just talking to him made Alec feel so much more than he ever had with Lydia.

He liked boys. And, to Alec's dismay, he liked Magnus Bane.

***

Ms. Fray and Magnus both gave brief speeches to the club twenty minutes before the play started. Afterwards, they all put their hands in a circle and cheered.

Not long after that, the play started. Alec watched as the couple in the opening scene, two sophomores named Will and Tessa, stepped out onto the stage.

The scene immediately following theirs was one Alec and Clary were in. Clary gave him a bright smile and squeezed his hand before walking onto the stage.

Only a couple of seconds later, Alec followed her. The scene behind them was of a small house lit up by a porch light and a starry night sky. Clary had a blanket spread out on the ground beneath them, and as she stared up at the stars, Alec stood behind her.

He said hello. She spared him a quick look and said hello back.

Amazingly, Alec didn't forget any of his lines. He guessed that he didn't do too bad, either, because the crowd only laughed at him when they were supposed to and not at any other time. That had been another concern of Alec's; that people wouldn't take him seriously.

But they did, and by his last scene, Alec had gained enough confidence to dramatically swoop Clary and stage kiss her when he knew the script called for a kiss.

The crowd's applause was thunderous. After their dramatic kiss the lights flickered out on the stage, replaced by transitional auroras, and the two hurried off the stage.

Clary had been holding in laughter that she quickly let out once they were safely out of hearing distance from the crowd.

"I can't believe you did that," she giggled. "What happened to being nervous?"

Alec shrugged, unable to prevent a grin from splaying across his lips. "It just kind of went away."

They both watched the final scene together. Only a few minutes after that, they ran back onto the stage to take a bow in front of their audience. Alec spotted his teammates only a few rows back and saw that they were all wolf-whistling for him.

He couldn't see his family or Lydia, but he knew it was just because they were further back than his teammates were.

Once everyone was onto the stage, they gave a final bow on a successful opening night.

***

Alec hadn't been expecting the adrenaline he felt after the show. It was almost the same feeling as after he had finished a game, except he was far less sweaty this time.

The first people he found in the crowd were his teammates. They all clapped him on the back and told him he was a natural, which made Alec laugh at how surreal this was. Jace gave him a quick hug and said it seemed like just yesterday Alec had been saying he had no idea how to act.

"Oh, and by the way, that co-star of yours? Total babe. What's her name again?" Jace asked.

Alec crinkled his nose. "You're not serious, are you?"

Jace gave him his 'I'm completely serious' look.

"God, okay, her name's Clary Fray, but I'm telling you right now...she _hated_ me at first, so I highly doubt she'll like you."

"You doubt my abilities, bro," Jace responded with an eyebrow wiggle.

Alec pretended to retch. "I'm gonna go find Lydia before I get sick."

They both split in opposite directions, Alec to find Lydia and Jace, assumedly, to find Clary. Alec had no idea how that would turn out, but he was leaning towards a complete and utter disaster.

Lydia was sat with Izzy and Simon. When she saw Alec, she quickly stood up and ran the rest of the distance to him, wrapping him up in a tight hug as soon as they met in the middle.

"You did so good!" She exclaimed. "Honestly, Alec, why didn't you tell me you were a professional actor?"

Alec laughed at that and pressed their lips together in a brief kiss.

He hated how their kisses felt after he'd experienced what a real kiss was like with Magnus, but he knew he still had to kiss Lydia. They couldn't be in a relationship together and _not_  kiss.

"Did you get me flowers?" Alec teased once they broke apart.

Lydia gave him an outraged look. "I texted you last night and asked if you wanted flowers and you said no, so don't you dare."

Alec let out another laugh. It felt like he couldn't stop laughing, which was a welcome feeling with everything that had been going on lately with his sexuality and Magnus.

"I'm kidding," he said, following the words with a kiss to Lydia's cheek. "I'm gonna go say hi to Iz and then try to find my parents, alright?"

Lydia nodded her acknowledgement and told him congratulations once again before he walked over to Izzy. She gave him a hug that nearly squeezed the life out of him and beamed up at him with pride once she backed away.

Alec thought he must've been doing something right to have his little sister look up at him like that.

They only talked for a little while because Alec wanted to catch their parents before they left. Izzy nodded when he told her as much, but if Alec had been paying closer attention, he would have noticed the slight dimming in her eyes.

"Simon and I are gonna find Clary," she told him. Alec made to walk off, but Izzy stopped him before he could. "Alec, just...remember, no matter what, you did great tonight."

Alec gave her a questioning look, but she had already laced hands with Simon and walked away.

Alec continued his walk further down the aisle. He spotted Max before he spotted his parents and grinned the largest he had all night, hurrying over to his little brother so he could scoop him up in his arms.

He always complained that he was too old to be picked up, but he didn't say that tonight. Instead, he rambled on about how much he had enjoyed the show.

"Yeah?" Alec asked happily. "Well you're welcome to come to any of the showings you want."

He looked to his left and saw his mom only a couple of feet away from him. He waved the best he could with Max in his arms and then headed over to her.

"I'm very proud of you, Alec," she told him seriously. "I know this whole theatre thing wasn't easy on you, but you stuck with it to get your credit and did a wonderful job. You should be proud of yourself as well."

Alec was pretty sure his jaw had dropped. It was a rare occasion for his mother to praise him like this.

"Th-thank you," he stammered, still in shock. He then realized he hadn't seen his dad yet. "Is Dad here?"

Maryse pursed her lips. "Your father couldn't make it, unfortunately."

"Oh, did he have to work?"

Maryse didn't respond, but the way she avoided Alec's eyes was answer enough. Robert didn't have to work and yet he still hadn't come to see Alec's play. Alec couldn't think of a reason why his dad would do that, but then it hit him; Robert thought only gay people were involved with theatre. Robert hadn't wanted to see his son doing something that he perceived as "gay".

Alec's good spirits were immediately broken. It must've been visible, because Maryse looked like she wanted to say something but didn't know what. Alec pressed a kiss to Max's cheek and set him down.

"Thank you both for coming," he said stiffly, and pointed back to the stage. "I have to...find someone, but I'll see you both later."

He waved one last goodbye and then he was rushing through the crowd, trying to make his way to the backstage. He didn't care if he saw people he knew; he could feel the tightening in his chest already forming and knew he was seconds away from a breakdown.

Luckily, Alec made it to the empty backstage just in time. He closed the door and slid his back down the wall as he started gasping for breaths. There were tears in his eyes and he felt like he couldn't breathe, maybe he wasn't breathing, because he'd realized his dad wouldn't ever accept him. He wouldn't even go to his play while thinking Alec was straight, what would he do if Alec came out to him?

That thought caused the tightening in his chest to worsen. He wouldn't ever be able to come out. He'd have to marry a girl like Lydia, maybe he'd even marry Lydia, and...

He was on his way to having a full-blown panic attack when the door opened to the backstage. Alec froze, terrified to be seen like this, but he couldn't stop.

He wasn't sure how he felt when he saw that it was Magnus; maybe like the world was playing a cruel trick on him.

Alec heard him murmur "Christ" but didn't look at him. He was too ashamed of being seen like this. Hopefully Magnus would walk right back out the door and pretend that this had never happened.

That's not what he did.

Only a second later, Magnus was next to him, kneeling down at his side. He placed a cautious hand on Alec's shoulders and calmly urged him to breathe.

"Head between your knees, yeah? That should help."

Alec did as he said, and even though his breathing was shaky and ragged, he could actually breathe without feeling like he was choking.

"Let's go outside. Anyone could walk in here and see this, which. Uh. I'm sure you don't want."

Alec shook his head. He still had tears flowing steadily from his eyes as Magnus offered him a hand up and led him to the backdoor.

It was mid-March in New York, so the air had a frigid chill to it. Alec sat down on one of the cement steps and placed his head in his hands, trying to get himself together. A sudden bout of warmth beside him told him that Magnus had sat down as well.

They sat in silence for an amount of time that Alec didn't know. Eventually he looked over at Magnus and saw that he was staring out at the empty school field.

"My dad didn't come because he thought theatre was too gay of a thing for me to be in," Alec said, the rasp in his voice a clear sign of the tears he had shed. "He wouldn't...he wouldn't even watch me play a character in a school play. How the hell am I ever supposed to come out to him?"

Magnus' eyes quickly went from the field to Alec. He looked shocked, at first, undoubtedly from Alec's last question, but he then seemed to realize that now wasn't the time. He placed his hand back on Alec's shoulder and whispered, "I am so sorry."

There wasn't anything else to say, so they stayed silent. Alec's heart felt broken in his chest, but he also felt the warmth of Magnus' hand on his shoulder and the heat emanating from his body.

It was enough, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Alec :( 
> 
> Next chapter should be posted later this week, maybe Wednesday or Thursday.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo! Thank you for all of the lovely comments on the last chapter. It's so awesome that you guys are enjoying this story and being so supportive of it <3
> 
> Here's chapter 5, hope you enjoy :)

The one good thing about having had an emotional breakdown was that as soon as Alec got home that night, he crashed into his bed and slept like the dead.

The bad thing was that as soon as he woke up, he was humiliated at how much he had exposed himself to Magnus last night. The only other person who had ever seen him be so vulnerable was Izzy, and she was his sister.

He knew that he had to apologize to Magnus. Alec had put him in an awkward situation where Magnus had most likely felt like he had to comfort him.

Thankfully, there was an early showing of the play today at twelve-thirty, so Alec was able to arrive to the school by eleven and see Magnus. He was backstage doing Clary's makeup when Alec spotted him.

"Hey, could we talk?" Alec asked Magnus quietly.

Clary, with her eyes closed as Magnus applied eyeshadow to her lids, said, "Who's that? Alec, is that you?"

Magnus chuckled at her. "Yes, it's Alec. I'll be right back, biscuit."

Clary grumbled to herself about the nickname, but otherwise remained silent as Magnus and Alec stalked away to somewhere more private. Alec had to give Clary credit: she didn't even try to inquire on where the two of them were going.

"Look, Magnus," Alec started, once it was just the two of them. His throat felt like it was mere seconds away from closing up. "About last night, I...I'm really sorry."

Magnus clearly hadn't been expecting an apology. "You're sorry?" he asked. "Why on earth would you be sorry?"

"I shouldn't have broken down like that. I put you in an awkward situation and—"

"Hey," Magnus interrupted softly, "It wasn't awkward for me at all. I was just happy that I could be a little bit of comfort to you."

Alec didn't know what to say to that. His throat still felt tight, but this time it wasn't from the nervousness.

"I know how it feels, yeah?" Magnus continued. "I've been there. Dads can really fucking suck sometimes."

"Wait, you've been there?" Alec asked. He didn't even pay attention to the step he took closer to Magnus, intrigued and wanting to know more. Magnus had always seemed so open and sure about his sexuality, so to hear that there might have been a time where he wasn't was somewhat of a shock to Alec.

Magnus opened his mouth as if he was about to elaborate, but then there was a flurry of red beside them, and they both turned to see Clary standing next to them.

"I am... _very_ sorry to interrupt, but, Magnus, my mom is asking for you, and I didn't really know what to tell her as an excuse..."

Magnus nodded and gave Alec a final smile. "We'll talk later," he promised.

Alec watched him go, wondering when later would be.

***

At first, Alec had assumed that 'later' meant later that day, but it actually turned out to be later that week at the cast party. The 'official' cast party had been at the school, with Ms. Fray and her friend-definitely-not-boyfriend Luke providing pizzas for all of them. Ms. Fray had popped in a recording of the play that had been equal amounts embarrassing and hilarious to watch.

Afterwards, almost all of the cast members had agreed to meet up at the town diner for milkshakes. Alec had wanted to talk to Magnus then, but the other boy had busied himself by going around to just about every table to talk to everyone at the diner.

Alec understood why; Magnus was the head of the drama club, of course he'd go around and say hi to everyone. Still, he couldn't help feeling slightly impatient as he sipped at his chocolate milkshake. He was sat next to Clary and Maia, and he tried to focus on what they were talking about, but his eyes kept finding Magnus across the room.

Closer to the end of the night, Magnus met his eyes and smiled when he saw Alec was already looking at him. Alec tilted his head slightly towards the door, silently asking if they could leave, and his stomach flipped as Magnus nodded at him.

"Um, I'm gonna head out," Alec said distractedly to the two girls sitting next to him.

Maia waved at him with a smile and Clary gave his shoulder a squeeze as he made his way out of the booth. Alec peeked over at Magnus for a second before stepping out of the restaurant and into the cool night air.

He pulled his varsity jacket tighter against him, glad he had thought to wear it. It was freezing outside tonight.

He only had to wait a couple of minutes before Magnus walked out the door and joined him. He greeted Alec with a careful smile and a "hey".

"Hi," Alec said back, internally cursing himself for being so awkward. He wasn't sure why he suddenly felt so jittery inside; maybe because he had realized that he and Magnus were alone together.

He was perfectly aware of what had happened the last time they were alone together.

He shook his head at himself. God, he was such a mess.

"I was wondering if now was a good time for later?" Alec asked.

Magnus was quiet for a second before nodding. "I know a place we could go to that's not too far from here, as long as you don't mind walking."

"I don't mind," Alec said quickly, maybe a bit too quickly, but luckily Magnus didn't call him out on it.

They began walking to wherever it was that Magnus had in mind. They walked side by side but didn't say much, the nervous energy radiating off of Magnus all the while. Alec wasn't sure if he had ever seen him like this before.

"You know you don't have to tell me, right?" Alec asked quietly. The last thing he wanted was for Magnus to feel like Alec was forcing him into something he didn't want to do.

"I know. I want to," Magnus assured.

Alec watched as a shiver ran through Magnus' form and saw, for the first time that night, that Magnus was wearing short sleeves.

"Jesus, Magnus, you're going to get _sick_. Why aren't you wearing a jacket?"

"I _was_ ," Magnus huffed defensively, "But I left it at the diner."

"We could've went back—"

"It's _fine_ , don't worry about it."

But Alec was worried; he didn't want Magnus to be cold or to get sick from this. With that thought in mind, he remembered his own jacket and quickly shrugged out of it, placing it over Magnus' shoulders.

Magnus looked up at him, an amused expression on his face. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Giving you my jacket."

"But now what if you get sick?" Magnus asked, his eyes raking over the thin material of Alec's t-shirt.

Alec tried not to flush under Magnus' gaze. He was pretty sure he failed.

"It'll be worth it," he told Magnus, giving him his best lopsided smile.

Magnus shook his head at him but he still pulled the jacket tighter over him, so Alec viewed it as a win.

A few minutes later, Magnus said, "We're here."

Alec looked in front of him and was surprised to see a small playground. Its only defining features were a swing set and a tiny, yellow slide.

"Clary, Simon, and I used to go here all the time when we were younger," Magnus explained as he walked over to the swings. Alec followed him over, and they both sat next to each other on two of the swings.

Magnus didn't look at him, instead focusing on his shoes in the dirt, but Alec kept his eyes focused on Magnus. The street lights illuminating the playground were dim and unflattering, though Magnus apparently hadn't gotten the memo. The lighting made him look like he was glowing.

"I wasn't," Magnus started, taking a deep breath to encourage himself, "I wasn't always so happily out. I actually didn't come out until my sophomore year."

Alec hadn't expected that. That meant Magnus had been out for less than two years.

"Most of the drama club had known since I was a freshman that I wasn't, you know, straight. I'd been dating Camille on-and-off again so I never really considered that I might like boys, too. But then we broke up and, well, you know how it goes."

Alec nodded in agreement. He was all too aware of how it went.

"So I'd pretty much accepted that I was bi by the time I was a sophomore. My friends had, too, so I wanted to come out to my parents."

Alec felt a chill run down his spine. It was instinct to feel like this would be the part where the story turned bad, and he was suddenly filled with an inexplicable amount of worry for Magnus.

"My dad was a deeply religious man. I'm talking miniature Bible under his pillow, went to church every Sunday, day _and_ night. He wouldn't ever eat a meal before blessing it first." Magnus let out a self-depreciating laugh, shaking his head at himself. "I don't — I don't know what I was thinking, coming out to him. I don't know how I could've expected it to turn out well."

There was a moment of silence. Magnus was gripping the chains of the swings so tightly that his hands were white, and his face looked like he'd seen a ghost as he stared straight ahead of him.

Alec didn't think as he reached over and gently pried one of Magnus' hands from the chain so he could hold it in his own. Magnus' eyes immediately met his, wide and brown and curious, but he didn't say anything about it.

Instead, Magnus continued with the story.

"I told my parents over family dinner that I was bisexual. My dad got so angry that he reached across the table and started beating me."

Alec's breath was instantly knocked out of his lungs in shock. The hand holding Magnus' unintentionally tightened as he tried to comfort Magnus from that pain, but he knew his attempt was pointless. He couldn't even begin to imagine how scared Magnus must have been that night.

"My mom was yelling at him to stop, and he...he did, before he could do any real damage. He gave me an ultimatum; either I pretend that night never happened and I never acknowledge my sexuality again, or I pack my things and I leave."

Magnus shook his head and laughed again, but this time, it was watery as he clearly held back tears.

"I was only sixteen and I didn't even have a job. There was no way I could've made it, you know? That was when my mom intervened. She told me to go upstairs into my bedroom, and I did, but all night I had to hear them arguing. By the morning, my dad was gone. I haven't seen him since."

"Magnus, I'm—" Alec started.

Magnus swiftly interrupted. "You don't have to apologize; I didn't tell you all of that for your sympathy. I just...I wanted you to know that you're not alone, Alec. And that, well, we're not so different after all."

Alec looked over to see that their hands were still conjoined. He flushed, lightly pulling his own back in a way that he hoped was discreet.

"Thank you," he told Magnus, to which Magnus gave him a confused look. "For telling me everything that you did. You didn't have to, but — you did, for me, and that's...really nice," Alec finished lamely, unsure of how to express his gratitude.

"Of course," Magnus said with a smile, "I know how horrible it is going through this by yourself. I would talk to Clary about my sexuality about my parents and she was great, of course, always sympathetic, but...She never really _got it_ , you know? At the end of the day she was still straight and had no idea what I was going through."

"Well, you have me, now," Alec blurted out. Magnus looked over at him in amusement, clearly thinking he was just joking. The thought made Alec equal amounts upset and angry. Why did Magnus think he would joke about something so serious?

"No, really, you do. I like talking to you."

That caught Magnus' attention. His eyes were unmoving from Alec's face as he asked, "You like talking to me?"

Alec felt his heart flutter furiously. Had he honestly just confessed to that? He felt terribly embarrassed, but he couldn't lie and take it back, so he had to tell him the truth.

"Yes, I do. Well, at least when we're not bickering, which we seem to do a lot."

Magnus threw his head back and laughed. It was such a breathtaking sight that Alec wanted to snap a picture of him and capture it forever, but he had already confessed he liked talking to Magnus. Taking a picture of him would've been weird.

When Magnus had calmed down, he held his hand out in front of Alec. "Give me your phone and I'll put my number into it."

Alec couldn't get his phone out and place it onto Magnus' waiting hand fast enough. He hated how eager he felt about getting Magnus' number.

Magnus handed the phone back to Alec a couple of seconds later. He had written his name with the cat and magic ball emojis next to it.

"On a more serious note, whenever you feel like you need to talk, just text me," Magnus said.

He stood up from his swing and began to walk, but Alec quickly followed, feeling his stomach sink at the thought of telling Magnus goodbye. The play was officially over, so they wouldn't be seeing each other nearly as much as they had been recently.

Alec wasn't exactly sure how to phrase that, so he asked, "Could I walk you to your car?"

Magnus smiled at him once again, but this time it was closer to a smirk. He looked like he'd been expecting Alec to follow after him and was pleasantly pleased that he'd been correct.

"Yes, that sounds good," Magnus agreed, and they began the walk back to the diner side-by-side.

***

A few nights later Alec found himself at Jace's for a sleepover. It was an extremely rare event because of how shitty Jace's dad was, but the man in question was currently on an out-of-state business trip for a couple of days.

Jace was clearly thrilled by this. He was all but glowing as he spoke to Alec, despite the fact that Alec was currently trying to focus on the movie playing in front of him.

Eventually Alec gave up even trying to watch the film. He looked over at Jace and decided to indulge him.

"You know, I can't help but be surprised that you're not taking advantage of having this entire house to yourself," Alec said.

Jace gave him a puzzled look. "I am. You're spending the night, which you haven't done since, like, middle school."

Alec laughed, shaking his head. Jace hadn't gotten his point.

"I meant with girls, Jace."

"C'mon, Alec, I already told you who I like. I'm currently in the process of wooing her."

That peaked Alec's interest. Jace couldn't mean...

"You don't mean—"

"Clary? Yeah, I do. You were right about her being hesitant when I first asked her out, thought it was a prank, but then she agreed to meet me at this coffee place she really likes in town and...she's really incredible," Jace sighed.

Alec had known Jace since he was twelve and Jace was eleven. Never had he once heard him talk about a girl like this.

Or at all, really, unless it was about sex, and then Alec didn't want to hear about it.

"So...you like her?" Alec asked, even though the words sounded ridiculous to his own ears. Of course Jace liked her.

"Yeah, I actually had her come over here last night and made her dinner. Afterwards she drew me. Did you know she's a really good artist? Like, _incredible_..."

"You made her dinner?" Alec exclaimed. This conversation was getting more and more shocking as it progressed. "You, Jace Wayland, actually cooked food?"

Jace threw a pillow across the room at him. "Yes, I did, and she loved it, _thank you._ "

"Have you two, you know." Alec said the next word very quietly. "Kissed?"

"You don't have to whisper the word 'kissed', Alec. It's not a bad word," Jace laughed. "But, yeah, we have. Only a couple of times, though."

Alec nodded. He was happy for his friend, but he couldn't help feeling that everyone around him was getting into relationships and falling in love, and then there was Alec...

"You're still with Lydia, right?" Jace asked.

The question took Alec by surprise. Why _wouldn't_  he be with Lydia?

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

"Well, I kind of, maybe, set up a triple date with you and Lydia, Izzy and Simon, and me and Clary. We're going to dinner together tomorrow night."

Alec's mouth dropped open. He was going to have to be surrounded by happy couples when he couldn't be less happy in his relationship with Lydia. In that moment, he kind of wanted to slap Jace, but Jace didn't know any better.

Clary and Izzy did, though, which...god, tomorrow night was going to be awkward.

"Sounds like fun," Alec lied, and focused back on the movie in front of him. He tried to ignore the way his heart had dropped in his chest.

***

Alec had been right; the dinner was awkward.

As soon as everyone had arrived to the restaurant and were sat in their booths, Izzy and Clary had both given Alec matching sympathetic looks that had done nothing but made Alec feel like he was suffocating.

Other than that, dinner wasn't terrible. Everyone was friendly with one other (other than Simon and Jace, who had some weird sort of animosity towards each other that apparently came from being a "geek" and a jock) and, with six people, the conversation was never stilted.

No one seemed to notice any differences in Alec and Lydia's relationship from their own relationships, too, which Alec thankful for.

Still, it was a little nauseating seeing his friends be so in love with each other. No matter how close Alec held Lydia to his side, she wasn't the one he wanted to be there, and it killed him a little inside.

By the end of the night, Alec saw both Simon and Izzy and Clary and Jace kiss each other, so he felt it mandatory to press a kiss to Lydia's own lips once they were stood by her car.

"Are you okay?" Lydia asked softly, reaching a hand up to his cheek. "You've been...off, lately."

Maybe Alec hadn't been as subtle as he had hoped. He shook his head, forcing a smile.

"I'm fine, I just...I'm trying to get back into the swing of things now that the play is over, you know?"

Lydia didn't look convinced, but she still accepted that answer without any questions. She replaced the hand on Alec's cheek with a short kiss.

"Don't be afraid to talk to me," she whispered, and then got inside of her car.

Alec watched her drive away with a lump in his throat. He wasn't sure how much she would want him to talk to her if she knew the reason he'd been so distant was because he was...because he was gay.

The word somehow dampened his spirits even further.

He was shocked out of his thoughts by a gentle hand on his arm. Alec jumped, quickly looking down and seeing his little sister.

"You scared me," he told her, his voice cracking.

Izzy gave him another sympathetic look, not unlike the one she'd given him at dinner, and wrapped him up in a hug.

"You have to tell her, Alec. You can't keep stringing her along if you don't really love her."

"I can't," Alec rasped out with a self-depreciating laugh.

Izzy didn't respond. She only hugged him tighter.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :( 
> 
> Next chapter will be up once I'm done writing chapter 7, and I'm about halfway done writing it, so hopefully it'll be up soon lol!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo :) I hope everyone enjoys the chapter!

**From:** Magnus  
**To:** Alec  
And that's how I got banned from Peru.

 **From:** Alec  
**To:** Magnus  
Please tell me that's not a true story.

 **From:** Magnus  
**To:** Alec  
Of course not, but it was still an entertaining one, wasn't it?

Alec couldn't help the laugh that escaped his mouth as he smiled down at his phone. He and Magnus had begun texting regularly now, and Magnus telling him outlandish stories wasn't anything new. At first it had been a bit awkward between the two of them, neither sure of what to say, but then the conversation had flowed steadily when they'd realized they could talk to each other about anything and everything.

Sometimes Alec would be feeling down and he'd text Magnus asking him for a funny story, or Magnus would simply ask him how his day had been. One weeknight they'd stayed up until two A.M. talking about how gross Clary and Jace were together (they were always talking about each other, like, obsessively, and the PDA was on another level). Magnus had jokingly texted him, "The Straights", and Alec had laughed for what felt like hours.

However, despite how good things were going over text message, the two barely talked any other time. Now that the play was over, Alec was back sitting with his jock friends and cheerleaders and girlfriend, and Magnus remained sitting with his theatre friends. Of course whenever they saw each other in the hallway they would say hi, or wave, but that was about it.

Alec hated it. He knew, despite how much he wanted to ignore it, that he still liked Magnus — the endless stream of text messages sent between them was all the confirmation needed for that — and not seeing him face-to-face was killing him a little bit.

Alec felt like that was probably being a tad dramatic, but he hadn't ever felt like this about someone before. He just...wanted to be around him all of the time.

He'd asked Izzy one morning, "Is it weird that I miss Magnus?"

She had snorted and otherwise not responded, despite Alec continuing to pester her about it throughout the day.

***

Alec had forgotten how much he hated family dinners.

Currently, Maryse was drilling into Izzy about Simon. Alec had no idea why, since Simon was probably the sweetest guy ever, and treated Izzy as if she were an actual goddess (Izzy's words, not Alec's). He was clearly an improvement from Raphael, but Alec thought that Maryse just liked to hassle her about whoever she dated.

"He really is a nice guy," Alec spoke up, "Much better than Raphael."

Izzy gave him a bright smile. Maryse still looked unconvinced.

"Well, if he's so nice, invite him over for dinner one night. I'll have to meet him and see for myself," she said with an air of finality.

Izzy took a large gulp of her water, murmuring, "Alright."

Once that had been settled, Robert set his eyes on Alec. Things were still tense between them since Robert hadn't shown up to any of the nights Alec had been performing — and by tense, Alec meant he had been avoiding his father while Robert, for the most part, remained oblivious.

"And how's Lydia, Alec?" Robert asked.

There was a strange lilt to his voice, one Alec couldn't identify.

"She's...fine," he answered carefully.

"You're still together?"

"Yes, we are. For about a year now."

Robert hummed and Alec thought that was the end of that conversation.

He thought wrong.

"Lydia's quite a pretty girl, don't you think?"

"A-Absolutely," Alec stammered. He had no idea where this conversation was going, but he felt his hands starting to sweat and his heart begin to racing.

"It's just strange, to me, how uninterested you seem in her after dating for almost a year," Robert said, as if he were aiming for it to sound like an offhand comment.

Alec felt his nervousness turn into rage. As if his love life was any of his father's business? Robert couldn't even make it to his play, but he somehow felt obligated to comment on Alec's relationship?

Normally, Alec would've taken it. But this time, he said, "I'm not sure how that's any of your business."

Robert raised an eyebrow at him. He looked outraged. "You are not allowed to speak to me like that."

Alec could feel the adrenaline coursing through him. He hadn't ever stood up for himself before, and it felt amazing.

"Oh, so you're allowed to pry into my relationship, but I'm not allowed to tell you to stop?"

Now even Maryse sounded surprised as she exclaimed, "Alec! Apologize to your father."

Alec remained silent.

Robert looked furious. "If you think you can disrespect me like that in my own home, go up to your room and stay there for the rest of the night."

Then Alec did something he would probably really regret later. He stood up, walked over to get his keys from their hanger beside the front door, and then slammed the door shut behind him. He all but ran to his car and hurriedly started it up, hearing the sound of his dad yelling from inside the house all the while.

Once he was driving down a backroad, he began thinking, and the adrenaline wore off some. He had no idea where he was supposed to go. He couldn't go back, not with how angry both of his parents undoubtedly were. He couldn't go to Jace's because of his own asshole dad. He also couldn't go to Lydia's, in fear that she'd ask what the argument had been about.

Alec's phone buzzed in the seat next to him. He saw that it was Magnus, and an idea (one that he was trying to convince himself wasn't incredibly stupid) formed in his mind.

He picked up his phone and went straight to calling Magnus instead of texting him back.

Magnus answered on the third ring. "Alec?" He asked, obviously confused.

For as much as they had texted, they hadn't once called each other.

"Hi," Alec breathed. Nerves were quickly replacing his adrenaline. He felt like he'd been on an emotional rollercoaster tonight. "I — I need to ask you for a favor. It's kind of...a lot, but it'd mean a lot to me."

"Okay, I'm listening," Magnus responded.

"I kind of...had an argument with my dad. Like, an I stood up to him for the first time and he wanted me to go to my room but instead I stormed out of the house type of argument."

"Oh...wow."

"Yeah. And now I'm kind of driving aimlessly around and I can't...think of anywhere to go? I'm really sorry, I know this is inconvenient, but is there..." Alec broke off, clearing his throat. "Is there any way I could stay over at yours?"

There was complete silence on the other end of the phone, and Alec was about to apologize again and take back everything he had just asked, when Magnus said, "Yeah, of course. My mom's here, she'll let you in. What time will you be here?"

Alec let out an audible sigh of relief. He had been getting ready to park his car alongside the road and just sleep there.

He told Magnus about fifteen minutes and then started the drive to his house.

***

Magnus' mom answered the door once he got there. Alec was immediately struck by how kind she was as she ushered Alec inside, giving him a warm, motherly smile.

"Magnus is upstairs, dear. Don't be afraid to ask for anything if you need it."

Even her voice was sweet. Alec smiled back at her as he thanked her and made his way up the stairs.

Magnus must have heard him, because by the time Alec made it up the steps, Magnus was standing outside of his room.

Alec's mouth didn't drop at the sight of him, but it was a very near thing. Magnus was dressed the simplest Alec had ever seen him. He was wearing baggy gray sweatpants and a tight black tank top, leaving little to the imagination when it came to his chest — not to mention that his biceps were completely exposed.

Alec's cheeks flushed. It felt a hundred degrees warmer in there, suddenly, and his mouth was getting uncomfortably dry.

"Thank you," he blurted out, though he wasn't really sure if he was thanking God or Magnus at that point.

Magnus smirked at him and walked back into his room, gesturing for Alec to follow him. Alec did, and wasn't surprised to see that Magnus' bedroom was filled with picture frames of him and his friends, as well as posters all over his walls of different Broadway musicals and actors/actresses. It all felt very Magnus Bane.

Magnus pointed to his bed. "This is where you'll be sleeping. I'll be downstairs in the living room if you need me."

This time, Alec's mouth really did drop. He had only just gotten here, and Magnus was already planning on leaving him. He quickly looked around the room to try and come up with an excuse for Magnus to stay. His eyes landed on the flat-screen tv in front of the bed.

"You know, I'm not really tired. I was thinking of watching some tv, if you want to join me?" Alec asked. He hoped that Magnus couldn't sense the desperation in his voice, but he was pretty sure he could by the hesitant look Magnus gave him.

"Alright," he relented after a few seconds, "For a little while."

Alec's shoulders sagged in relief. He kicked his shoes off and walked over to the left side of Magnus' bed, cautiously sitting down on it. It was clearly the side Magnus didn't sleep on, based off of how cold it was. Magnus sat down beside him and kept a good chunk of space between them.

And then it was silent. The only noise in the room was the tv playing because, apparently, the only time they could talk was over text.

Alec decided to initiate a conversation, telling Magnus that his dad had started to pry into his relationship with Lydia and that was what led to the argument.

"What did he say?" Magnus asked.

Not for the first time that night, Alec's cheeks flushed. "He...he asked why I seemed so uninterested in her after being together for a year. I was...I was so scared he was going to ask about our sex life. I wouldn't have been able to tell him that we haven't had sex yet and it's all because of me. That I haven't _ever._.."

Alec broke off at that. He spared a quick look at Magnus, and although he hid it well, Alec thought he looked a bit flustered. Probably because Alec had just admitted he was a virgin while sitting next to Magnus in his bed.

Maybe that hadn't been the best idea, because now Alec's mind was racing with his own thoughts. He hadn't ever thought about having sex with a boy. Sure, there had been an awkward Google search to find out how everything worked, but it had never gone farther than that.

He _had_ thought about kissing them, though, which had then happened with Magnus.

Alec was suddenly reminded of the Never Have I Ever game they had played at Magnus' party the night before the play. He remembered Magnus taking a shot when Simon had said, "Never have I ever had sex," and Alec's entire body went warm.

Figuring the atmosphere was already awkward, Alec decided to go ahead and ask Magnus if he was a virgin.

The question forced a laugh out of Magnus' lips as he shook his head no.

"And have you ever...with a boy?"

Magnus shot Alec a surprised look, but eventually he broke into awkward laughter. "Geez, that _is_  rather personal, isn't it?"

Alec gave him a pleading look. Magnus ran a hand through his own hair.

"Yes, I have," he admitted quietly.

Alec couldn't help the next words that stumbled out of his mouth. "What was it like?"

Magnus actually gaped at him this time. "Oh my god. You are not actually asking what gay sex is like, are you?"

Alec's cheeks were burning by now. He knew Magnus had to be able to tell, but the other boy's cheeks were just as red, so Alec didn't mind all too much.

"I just...I don't know anyone else who's, you know, ever done that, and I'm...interested? Is that bad?"

That was all it took for Magnus to slowly shake his head and begin telling him about his first time with a guy. He never went into too much detail. All he said was that it took an insane amount of trust to be so intimate with another guy, and that he had immediately been able to tell the difference between having sex with a guy and a girl, because guys were tougher and harder around the edges, while girls were softer and smoother.

All Alec could do was stare at him as he spoke, his eyes never leaving Magnus' lips. He was painfully reminded of how good their kiss had been by staring at Magnus' soft, moving lips.

He realized a few seconds too late that Magnus had stopped talking, and was currently giving Alec a questioning look.

Sometime while Magnus had been talking, the chunk of space between them had gotten less and less, and their thighs were now touching. Alec had felt hot from the topic of their conversation but now he was ablaze, his heart pounding furiously in his chest.

Magnus' own eyes had fluttered down to Alec's own lips, and Alec subconsciously licked them, feeling a chill run down him when he heard Magnus' breath hitch.

They both leaned in at the same time, so fast that their noses bumped, and it was enough of a distraction that Alec quickly turned his head away from Magnus'.

Magnus seemed to get the hint. He stood hurriedly from the bed and was out of the room with nothing but a rushed, "Goodnight."

Alec put his head in his hands and tried (failed) to catch his breath.

***

When Alec woke up, it was to what seemed like a hundred messages from his mom, Izzy, and Jace. He groaned, running a hand through his bedhead, and then was abruptly reminded of everything that had happened last night.

He sat up in the bed... _Magnus'_  bed. His breath hitched as memories of their almost kiss came rushing to his mind.

Alec all but stumbled onto the floor. He fixed Magnus' bed up, toed his shoes on, and then hurried down the stairs.

He wasn't sure what he'd been expecting when he came downstairs, but he was met with the image of Magnus brewing coffee in the kitchen and rubbing at his eyes.

Alec's heart fluttered pathetically. A part of him wanted to make a break for the door but, well, he knew that would do nothing but make things worse. He at least owed Magnus an apology.

He walked into the kitchen and sat down on a high-top stool, one that was tucked into a nice marble island in front of him.

Magnus turned around to look at him and smiled awkwardly.

Alec returned it, but not for long. He rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head. "I'm sorry, about...last night." Surprisingly, Alec felt a laugh escape his lips. "I feel like I'm always apologizing to you. I'm such a mess."

Magnus leaned on the opposite side of the island. "I'm pretty sure we're both messes, actually."

Alec laughed again, but genuinely this time. This seemed to please Magnus because he reverted his eyes to his coffee, pouring it out into two mugs.

"You like coffee, right?" He asked.

"Yes."

"How do you like it? Sugar? Cream?"

"Uh, no, just black."

Magnus spun around with a truly revolted look on his face. "That is disgusting, Alec Lightwood," he told him, completely seriously.

Alec rolled his eyes and made grabby hands for his mug. Magnus handed it to him, albeit a little hesitantly.

"Let me guess; you like yours with tons of sugar and cream," Alec said, taking a sip of his coffee.

Magnus dumped cream packets into his own mug and said, " _No_. A ton of cream and just one sugar, thank you."

He came over to where Alec was sitting and sat down on the stool next to him. Alec wasn't sure how much time passed between them as they drank their coffees and chatted as if nothing had even happened last night. It reminded Alec of how much he liked talking to Magnus when things weren't weird or awkward between them.

He'd been so busy laughing at something Magnus had said that when his phone rang, Alec didn't even look at the caller ID before answering.

As soon as his mother was yelling into his ear, he knew he had made a mistake.

Alec stood up from the island and offered Magnus both an apologetic look and a mouthed "sorry".

Magnus shook his head and mouthed back an, "It's okay". He had a small smile on his lips as Alec walked out of the door.

As soon as he was gone, Alec realized how much he wished he could've kept talking to Magnus.

***

Alec thought it best after all of that to put some distance between himself and Magnus. Alec didn't send any more texts to him, and Magnus had stopped texting him after one text of his had gone unanswered.

Alec had come up with an excuse he could use if Magnus asked him about the sudden space between them (Alec had just been _so_  busy with final exams), but Magnus never once questioned him. He just ignored Alec right back.

Alec wasn't sure how he felt about that. On the one hand, he should've been glad, but on the other, the fact that Magnus had so easily stopped talking to him hurt.

Which was stupid, considering Alec had been the one to cut off their communication in the first place.

After about a week of not talking to Magnus, Alec saw him at his locker in between classes. He was getting ready to go over to him, and Magnus saw him, too, when suddenly a petite blonde was in front of Alec, smacking her lips to his. Alec 'mmph'ed in surprise but kissed Lydia back, and by the time he'd backed away from the kiss, Magnus was nowhere to be seen.

Alec gave Lydia the brightest smile he could muster and gently squeezed her hip. He told himself it was for the best.

***

To celebrate exams and finals finally being over, Lydia threw a party at her house. Her parents were loaded which meant she had a huge house, which meant just about the entire school was invited to the party.

Once the night of the party came around, Alec could see that clearly everyone had taken advantage of the open invite. It seemed like not only had their entire school showed up, but kids from neighboring school districts, too.

It was ridiculously overwhelming. Despite Alec's popularity, he had never liked huge parties like this.

Luckily, Lydia stayed by his side throughout the night. She cheered him on as he played beer pong even though he lost miserably to Jace, something that Clary seemed a little too pleased about.

"Not funny!" He told her.

"I think you mean hilarious!" Clary amended. She then took Jace's arm and dragged him over to where everyone was dancing to some pop/electronic song.

Lydia wrapped her arms around Alec's waist and smiled up at him. "We should dance, too!" She exclaimed.

Alec had absolutely no idea how to dance, but he'd been to enough of these parties with Lydia that he knew she was fine with him just watching her as she did the majority of the dancing.

He nodded quickly and Lydia guided him over to the mass of bodies in the living room. Once they found a good spot, Lydia immediately began moving her body to the music, dramatically mouthing the words to Alec. Alec couldn't help but laugh and moved towards her, giving her a quick spin that had Lydia laughing right back at him.

A few songs passed by and Alec actually found himself moving along to some of the ones he knew. A mixture of the dancing and the warm bodies around him had him sweating, his hair plastered uncomfortably to his forehead.

"That's pretty gross, you know," Lydia told him, but she still leaned up to lock her lips together with his.

Alec tried his best to kiss back and make it seem like he was enjoying it, but his eyes couldn't help peaking open when he heard the sound of a moan from somewhere close to him.

Straight ahead, only a couple of bodies away from him, was Magnus, and he was looking straight at him. There was another boy blocking Magnus' body because of how attached he was to him, his lips moving up and down Magnus' neck.

Magnus tilted his head back and let out another moan, this time exaggerating it. Suddenly Alec realized that Magnus was purposely putting on a show because he knew Alec was watching him.

Alec's mouth went dry. He felt like his head was spinning as he stumbled a couple of steps away from Lydia.

Lydia gave him a questioning look. "You alright?" She asked.

Alec tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. His eyes met Magnus' again and saw that he was smirking proudly at him.

"I really have to pee," Alec blurted out, "I'll be back."

And then he was off, pushing through sweaty bodies to make his way up the stairs. The amount of couples making out on the stairway was truly disturbing, but Alec couldn't focus on it, too busy replaying the sight of Magnus moaning for him in his head.

Alec had no idea how, but no one was in the guest bathroom upstairs. He quickly shut himself up in the room and locked the door behind him. His hands grasped the counter in front of him and he looked up at his own reflection. His dark hair was sticking to his forehead, as he had expected, and his pupils were dilated. He noticed his cheeks were pink, as well, and he rubbed frustratedly at them.

He knew nothing would come of what had happened with Magnus downstairs. That had been Magnus messing with him and having some petty fun, but Alec was still half hard in his pants, and he had no idea what to do with that. He wasn't about to get off in Lydia's bathroom, but he also couldn't imagine what would happen if Lydia saw and thought he'd gotten hard for her.

He felt bad for the disgusted shudder he let out, but he couldn't help it. He was so focused on Magnus that anyone else just felt...wrong.

There was a knock on the door and Alec huffed, annoyed.

"Someone's in here!"

"Clearly," a familiar voice responded.

All of the breath in Alec's body left him in that moment. He opened the door and saw Magnus standing there, dressed in only a sheer maroon shirt and black skinny jeans. Alec could perfectly make out his practically bare chest.

Magnus quickly stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him so no one could see them in there together. Only a second later, Alec had him pressed up against the door, and Magnus' breath was hitching.

"It's not nice to tease," Alec told him, his lips skimming over Magnus' ear as he spoke.

He felt the shiver that ran through Magnus' body and backed away slightly, opting to lean in so that their lips were just barely touching.

Magnus placed a hand to Alec's chest and gently pushed before Alec could seal the kiss. Despite the few inches of space between their faces, their bodies remained pressed up against each other, and both of their breaths were still coming out heavy from anticipation.

Alec stared into Magnus' wide brown eyes and saw that they were just as dilated as Alec's own.

"What?" Alec breathed, sensing Magnus' hesitation.

Magnus leaned in so that his cheek was pressed to Alec's, and Alec's felt the warmth of his breath as Magnus spoke.

"We can't do this, especially not in your _girlfriend's_  house, Alec," he mumbled, but he then backed away, speaking with his lips a breath away from Alec's. "Unless you tell me that you'll leave her, then we could...we can..."

He broke off. His eyes never left Alec's face as he awaited his response, but when he realized one wasn't coming, his eyes fluttered quickly to the floor. Alec wasn't sure if it was because Magnus was drunk or just incredibly upset but his entire expression crumbled. He didn't even try to mask the emotion on his face as he usually did — Magnus was hurt, and he was letting Alec know it.

"Magnus," Alec tried, "I'm sorry, I can't, but I do...I want..."

But Alec didn't get to finish, because Magnus was opening the bathroom door and slamming it behind himself.

Alec stared unseeingly at the door in front of him.

"I want you," he finished quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I call this the "almost-kiss" chapter haha
> 
> Also for those asking me to make things better — just wait for next chapter ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helloooo, so sorry for the wait! I just started school on Wednesday and I'm already packed full with homework (yay..). I'm going to try finishing writing chapter 8 this weekend and have it posted sometime this week, so fingers crossed for that!
> 
> Hope you enjoy the chapter, I really enjoyed writing it.

When Alec saw Magnus at school that Monday, he was itching to talk to him. Alec had no idea what he would say, but he was hoping to maybe find some sort of closure — the last thing he wanted was for what happened on Friday night to be their last time talking.

Before class started, Alec was about to approach Magnus at his locker, but something stopped him. Or, more specifically, _someone._ Alec was forced to a halt as a tall, leggy brunette dressed in a short red minidress walked up to Magnus. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed a deep kiss to his lips.

Alec gaped, quickly spun around, and pretended to be busy unlocking a lock on a locker that wasn't his. He felt like his heart was sinking and his mind was reeling. He didn't turn around again until the brunette was walking away, and then he saw who she was; Camille Belcourt, Magnus' on-again, off-again ex-girlfriend...or, current girlfriend. Alec had no idea. Mostly he just couldn't believe that Magnus would get back together with his ex so soon after he and Magnus' moment on Friday.

Now that he was alone, Alec walked over to him.

Magnus spared him one look, then focused heavily on stuffing his books in his locker, assumedly so he didn't have to meet Alec's gaze.

"Alec, I swear to god if you came over here to apologize—" He started.

"That's not why I came over here. I wanted to ask what's going on with Camille."

Magnus froze. It wasn't completely obvious, but Alec could see the way his shoulders tensed up and the way he hesitated to answer.

Eventually, he said, "We're seeing each other," and Alec felt his heart break all over again.

"I — I thought," Alec stammered, trying to find the right words and failing. "I thought that you and I..."

For the first time that morning, Magnus turned around to look at him. His eyes were unmoving from Alec's face as he whispered, exasperatedly, "What? That you and I had something? Alec, we weren't allowed to have _anything_ because of how insistent you were on staying with Lydia. You said to me yourself that you can't break up with her, so how was I supposed to move on? You can't be mad at me for getting a girlfriend when you've _literally_ had one this entire time."

Magnus focused back on his locker, his cheeks slightly flushed from the heat of his words. Alec felt his own cheeks flush, but not from anger; he was mostly just embarrassed. He had been prepared to feel jealous or angry about Camille, but how could he when Magnus had been forced to see him with Lydia all of this time and not say a word about it?

Alec didn't know what to say. He was quite literally speechless.

Magnus must have felt bad for being so brash, as he faced Alec once again, this time with a much softer look.

"Look, Alec," he said, as if he were trying to break something gently to Alec. "I'm doing what I can to move on, okay? I suggest you do the same...for your own good."

All Alec could do was nod. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to speak around the lump forming in his throat.

Magnus offered him a small smile and began to walk away. The image of his retreating form was an all-too-familiar one to Alec, so Alec turned away, missing the fleeting look Magnus sent him over his shoulder.

***

Alec wasn't sure what to do with himself after that. He knew that he and Magnus hadn't ever dated, but what he was going through right now felt a little too close to a breakup.

It was just that Alec hadn't ever felt for another person what he had felt for Magnus, and now Magnus had gone and moved on without him.

The worst part was that Alec couldn't be angry at him, either. He knew it was no one else's fault but his own for not having the nerve to break up with Lydia and face his parents.

A couple of nights after he and Magnus' talk in the hallway, Alec felt particularly down. He told his parents he felt sick to his stomach and that he was going to lie down for the rest of the evening, but in actuality he had just wanted to get out of family dinner.

By the time Alec shut his bedroom door, he felt the tears begin to fall. He _hated_  crying, much rather preferring just to hold all his emotions in, but there was no preventing these tears. He sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands as he tried to even out his breathing.

A knock on the door made Alec's blood go cold. He quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks and told whoever it was to come in, hating the telltale rasp of his voice.

It was Izzy who poked her head in the door, and Alec couldn't have been more relieved. His felt himself relax as Izzy walked over and sat down next to him, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked.

Alec let out a quiet sigh. He supposed talking about it would probably be a good thing to do, even though he really didn't want to.

Still, he forced himself to talk. Maybe Izzy could help him.

"You know that party Lydia threw on Friday?" Alec asked. Izzy nodded that she did. "Well, Magnus and I...talked, and it would've been more than that, but Magnus said I had to promise him first that I would break up with Lydia, and I couldn't...I..." Alec broke off with a pitiful shake of his head.

Izzy didn't say anything as she waited for Alec to continue, only gently rubbed his back to encourage him.

"I saw him in the hallway on Monday, and he...he was with Camille. She kissed him, Iz, and when I asked, he told me they're together. I ruined any chance I possibly had with Magnus just because I'm a coward."

Izzy sent a glare his way. "Alec Lightwood, don't you dare call yourself that," she said, "Coming out is scary, okay? Like, _really_  scary, so being afraid of it doesn't make you a coward. In fact, you're one of the bravest people I know."

Alec let out a huff, but he couldn't help the small smile that formed on his lips.

"Thanks, Iz."

"Of course. And, you know, if you break up with Lydia, you don't have to come out right away. It doesn't sound like Magnus was pressuring you to come out."

Alec shook his head. He knew Izzy was right, Magnus hadn't been pressuring him, but...

"If I break up with Lydia, I want to ask Magnus to prom," he confessed quietly. "I don't want to hide him or keep him a secret. Neither of us deserve that."

Izzy's eyes were wide. She obviously hadn't been expecting her brother's words.

"Wow, prom, that's...isn't that only a couple of weeks away?"

Alec nodded. He could feel his nerves growing at the thought of asking Magnus and then showcasing him to the entire school, but...he also felt a little bit of excitement, too.

He knew that Magnus could very likely tell him no. However, he also knew that he couldn't take Lydia to prom. It was her senior prom, and she deserved to go with someone who would actually be interested in her.

Alec felt anticipation fill him to the core. He was going to do this.

"I'm going to do this," he told Izzy, trying to ignore the shaking of his hands.

Izzy placed her hands over Alec's and gave them a squeeze. "You don't have to if you're not ready. But, if you are, I'll be right by your side the entire time, okay?"

She followed her words up by wrapping Alec in a tight hug. Alec returned it, and although he felt like his nerves were possibly strong enough to choke him, he still felt like he could do it.

He could definitely do it.

***

If it were up to Alec, he would've waited indefinitely to talk to Lydia, but he knew it had to be done. He texted her a couple of days later to ask if he could come over to her house. She'd said "of course" with a kissy face emoji, which had immediately made Alec feel even worse about himself.

He stopped over to her house after school and she greeted him with a smile, but when she went for a kiss, Alec placed one on her cheek.

Lydia gave him a questioning look but didn't say anything about it, instead ushering Alec over to the couch.

Alec kind of felt like curling in on himself.

"What'd you want to talk about?" Lydia inquired, taking one of Alec's hands in hers. "I was kind of thinking it might be about prom. You know it's coming up in a week? I was going to remind you sooner in case you forgot, but I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Alec smiled, though it most likely came out as a grimace.

"It's...it's not about prom. Well, I mean, it kind of is, but not...not entirely." Alec let out a breath. His stomach was turning and he felt nervous chills all over his body, making him feel as if he were about to get sick. "Lydia, I...I can't go to prom with you," he whispered.

Lydia tilted her head to the side so she could look Alec in the eyes. She didn't remove her hand from his and she didn't seem upset, though Alec hadn't dropped the real bombshell yet.

"And why's that?" She asked quietly.

"It's our senior prom, you deserve to go with someone who really cares about you, and that's...that's not me."

"You don't care about me?" Lydia questioned, her eyebrows crinkling.

Alec could've cursed himself and his lack of eloquence.

"Not like that."

Those three words seemed to spark an understanding in Lydia. She pursed her lips and nodded, looking away from Alec.

"I've noticed that it's always been kind of...platonic between us," she confessed. "I didn't want to say anything because I thought, I don't know, maybe you were uncomfortable being too intimate, or maybe it was me..."

"It wasn't," Alec rushed to reassure, "It wasn't you, Lydia. I would've..." He squeezed his eyes shut, knowing once he said this, there was no going back. "It would've been like that with any girl I was with."

Lydia met his eyes again. She was trying to see if Alec had just admitted what she thought he had, so Alec nodded.

"I'm gay."

Alec had no idea what he was expecting Lydia's reaction to be. Shocked, yes, maybe even angry. He definitely wasn't expecting her to smile a small, sad smile.

"I hate to be one of those asshole straight people who says, "I know", but...I thought that might've been another reason things were so strictly platonic between us. I definitely didn't know for sure, though." Lydia gave his hand a small squeeze. "Thank you for telling me."

"I'm...I'm really sorry for wasting your time," Alec said, feeling that all-too-familiar lump form in his throat. "I should've told you so much sooner."

"Hey, no. You told me when you were ready. And, yes, it wasn't an ideal situation, but I don't want you beating yourself up over it, okay?"

Alec nodded, but he must not have been very convincing, because Lydia continued.

"I'll be fine," she promised, and this time her smiling was much more convincing.

Alec wasn't expecting it, but Lydia reached over and gave him a hug. He reciprocated it and felt all of the tension and nerves slowly leave him.

"Thank you, Lydia," he breathed, blinking back tears. "You're amazing. I hope...I hope we can still be friends after all of this, if you're comfortable with that."

Lydia broke the hug so Alec could see her sincere expression. "Of course we'll still be friends. I care about you, Alec, and I wish you the best."

Alec smiled, even though it was a small, barely-there thing. "I wish the same for you."

***

"Do I...have to do this?"

"Oh my god, Alec."

Alec had probably been standing by the front door for the past fifteen minutes, fighting with himself (and Izzy) about whether or not he should leave to go to Magnus'.

"What if..." Alec swallowed thickly at the idea. "What if Camille is over? I might actually get sick."

"There's a very small chance she'll be there. Just go, okay? You'll feel so much better if you do."

"...Not if he says no."

Izzy groaned exasperatedly.

"Okay, okay, I'm going! You have the Ben & Jerry's in case he says no?"

Izzy rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "Yes, I do. Now go!"

"I'm going!" Alec repeated and, taking a final breath, he walked out the door.

It had been cloudy and miserable all day, but the sky had yet to give out.

That changed when Alec got inside his car. Almost as soon as he began the drive to Magnus', there was a crack of lightning in the night sky and then it was pouring down rain.

"That's not ominous at all," Alec grumbled to himself, and flicked his windshield wipers on.

Once he arrived to Magnus', he was relieved to see that Magnus' jeep was the only car in the driveway.

He then told himself that didn't necessarily mean Camille wasn't there, which took away that feeling of relief pretty quickly.

It was raining so hard that once Alec made it to Magnus' front door, he was soaked. He had made the mistake of wearing a white t-shirt and jeans — the worst thing you could possibly wear during a storm.

He placed his knuckle on the door but didn't knock. Alec knew that the longer he waited the more drenched he would get, but he felt like his heart was about to beat out of his chest.

A voice that sounded surprisingly like Izzy's told him to get it over with, so Alec rapped his knuckle against the door.

As soon as he did so, he was filled with a strong desire to run back to his car and just drive away. This was a mistake, he told himself. Magnus wouldn't ever take him back, not after everything that had happened between them...

That was when Magnus opened the door. He was dressed the simplest Alec had probably ever seen him, in just black skinny jeans and a gray tank top. Alec felt all of his feelings for Magnus come back tenfold at the wide-eyed, surprised look Magnus gave him.

He was stood between Alec and the door, everything about him screaming uncertainty as he said, "Alec? What are you doing here?"

"I broke up with Lydia," Alec rushed out, "And I'm...I'm really not good at this, and I know you're still upset with me, but I was wondering if you'd go to prom with me?"

Before Magnus could respond, Alec realized how shitty of a prom-posal (was that what Izzy had called it?) that had been, and let out a nervous laugh at how truly terrible he was at this.

"That was _so_ bad. Christ, _I_ wouldn't even say yes to me. But I'll, like, get you roses? Or get down on one knee? Do people do that or..."

Magnus had been so quiet that Alec had been starting to convince himself that Magnus had lost all interest in him and was just humoring him by letting him continue to talk.

But then he spoke, so softly that Alec had to strain to hear him against the sound of the rain coming down like bullets all around them.

"You'll have to get a limo. And we're color-coordinating tuxes, too."

Alec gaped. He was perfectly aware of the rainwater that was falling in his mouth, but he couldn't help it. Magnus had just told him yes.

He'd said _yes_.

"I, um. I have absolutely no idea where or how to rent a limo, but I'll...I'll figure it out, and—"

Magnus stepped out of his house so he was standing with Alec in the rain. He was standing so close to him that Alec forgot what the hell he was even saying.

"I'm kidding, Alec. I don't want the limo, or the tuxes, or any of that."

Alec licked his lips. "What _do_ you want?"

Magnus looked up at the sky and pursed his lips as if he were thinking about it. He then met Alec's eyes and leaned in, their lips a breath away.

"I want you," he whispered, and closed the rest of the distance between them so their lips finally, finally met.

Alec was soaking wet and his body was half-frozen, but every thought of that escaped his mind when Magnus kissed him. His hands immediately went to Magnus' cheeks to have him closer and he felt Magnus' arms wrap around his waist, his hands fiddling with the hem of Alec's shirt.

Alec shivered when he felt Magnus' hands brush against the bare skin of his lower back and he tilted his head to the side in order to deepen the kiss. He was reminded of all the times he had wanted to do this and couldn't, which somehow made this kiss all the more sweet.

Magnus slowly broke the kiss, and when Alec's lips chased his, Magnus placed a finger to Alec's lips to stop him.

"You are drenched. We need to get you inside," Magnus said decisively, but his eyes fluttered heavily down to Alec's lips when he pressed a kiss to Magnus' finger.

"You're not much better yourself," Alec told him.

Magnus let out a huff and quickly turned around, walking inside before Alec could do anything else to distract him.

"Who's fault is that again?" Magnus pondered.

Alec walked in after him, but he didn't get very far before Magnus was stopping him with a hand to his chest.

"My mom will kill me if you get her floors wet," he said apologetically. "Could you wait here? I'll get you some clothes."

"Yeah, sure."

Alec watched Magnus hurry up the stairs and let out a sigh. Now that he didn't have the warmth of Magnus in front of him, the wetness and cold really started to seep in. He shivered and felt his teeth begin to chatter.

From where he was standing he could see the living room, and he saw that Magnus had a fire going in the fireplace.

It looked _incredible_.

Alec looked down at his sopping clothes and made a split second decision. He pulled his shirt off and wiggled out of his jeans so that the only piece of clothing he had on was his boxers. Keeping his wet clothes on the welcome mat, Alec all but ran over to the fire.

He sat down on the floor in front of it and let out a breathy sigh when he felt the heat begin to dry his body.

"Al—" Magnus called out as he walked into the room only a few minutes later. He came to an abrupt halt when he saw the sight in front of him.

"Magnus," Alec said, and quickly stood up. It was only once he was standing almost completely bare in front of Magnus that he realized he was revealing even more skin by standing and not sitting. "Um...I was cold?"

Magnus still looked dazed but he all but shoved Alec's clothes at him. Alec took them and blushed when Magnus turned around while he waited for him to dress.

"Sorry," Alec apologized as he changed into Magnus' clothes, "I think the cold went to my head and I was half delusional."

Magnus turned back around and smirked at him. Alec was pleased to see he had a faint blush on his own cheeks.

"You don't have to apologize. I liked what I saw," Magnus admitted.

Alec was suddenly aware of how alone they were. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Magnus instead leaned up to lock their lips together in a slow kiss. It was instantly different from their last kisses, filled with something that Alec hadn't ever experienced before.

He could see himself getting lost in the easy way Magnus was languidly moving his lips against Alec's own, so Alec broke the kiss, even though it physically pained him to do so.

"We should talk," he suggested.

Magnus pouted, though he then nodded his head. "I suppose you have a point. Want to lay out on the couch?"

***

Alec hadn't known that laying out meant cuddling, but he was in no way complaining. Alec was lying flat with his back on the couch and Magnus was lying on top of him, his head resting on Alec's shoulder and both of their legs twined together.

The lights were dimmed in the room so that its main source of light was the fire going in the fireplace. That and the warmth of Magnus' body on his own had Alec yawning, though he tried to hold it in.

"Thought you said you wanted to talk," Magnus teased, looking up at him.

"I _do_ , I'm fine. I, um, I wanted to ask about Camille, first off. Are you...together, or?"

Magnus' face scrunched up in disinterest. "We were only together for a day or two. We're not good for each other, and both of us knew it, so. It was stupid of me to even try to get us back together."

Alec couldn't help the sigh of relief he let out. He would've felt awful if Magnus was still with Camille when the two of them had just been kissing five minutes ago.

"Why did you break up with Lydia?" Magnus then asked quietly. "You seemed pretty set on staying with her."

Alec pursed his lips. There was a lot of things he could say in response to that, but he opted on telling Magnus the honest truth.

"I didn't want to lose you," he whispered. "Even though I thought I already had."

This time when Magnus looked up at him, Alec was reminiscent of all the loaded looks he had given to Alec while they were still in drama club. Alec had never known what they meant, but he thought he did now. Magnus was as equally surprised with Alec as he was impressed.

"You have me," Magnus promised, reaching out so he could lightly touch Alec's jaw.

The words made something flutter in Alec's chest and he leaned in, connecting their lips for the third time that night. The angle was awkward because of how much they each had to turn their heads, so Magnus broke away, a smirk forming on his lips as he repositioned his body on top of Alec's, straddling Alec's waist with his legs.

"Better?" He asked against Alec's lips.

Alec really didn't trust his voice to respond. Instead, he closed the rest of the distance between them, pressing his lips to Magnus' open-mouthed. Magnus immediately got the hint and teased the tip of Alec's tongue with his own, sending shivers all throughout Alec's body.

Magnus' hands moved slowly down Alec's chest and he hummed his approval when he felt Alec's abs through the fabric of his shirt.

"You can take my shirt off," Alec offered, "If you want."

Based off of the look Magnus gave him, he wanted to.

He had Alec raise his arms and then pulled the shirt over his head as if it personally offended him. Once Alec was shirtless, Magnus stayed perfectly still for a moment, just taking in the sight beneath him.

"Like what you see?" Alec teased.

Magnus rolled his eyes and moved to cover Alec's bare chest with his clothed one so he could press his lips to Alec's earlobe.

"I already told you I did," he whispered, and then moved his lips further down so he could press them to the sensitive skin of Alec's neck.

Alec let out a breathy gasp when he felt sharp teeth biting down on his neck. He tried to recall if Lydia had ever given him a hickey, but his mind was drawing a blank.

"You're good at this," Alec said, hating how affected his voice sounded. He tried clearing his throat, but it didn't do much good.

Magnus smiled at him and pressed another kiss to Alec's lips, one that Alec immediately responded to with earnest. Alec took Magnus' bottom lip between his teeth and playfully tugged on it, delighting in Magnus' sharp intake of breath.

"You're not too bad at this, either," Magnus told him, their lips still moving together eagerly, "For a virgin, anyway."

Alec broke the kiss so Magnus could see his glare. Magnus laughed and brought a hand to Alec's blushing cheek.

"I'm just kidding," he promised sweetly. "You look really tired. We can continue this another time, if you want?"

Alec tried to deny it, but as soon as he opened his mouth, a yawn came out. He figured Magnus probably had a good point.

"Could we...sleep together?" Alec asked.

Magnus raised his eyebrows suggestively. Alec's cheeks flushed an even deeper shade of red.

"That's not...I meant...the _other_ kind of sleep, like. _Rest_."

Magnus was quiet for a second before he burst into laughter, throwing his head back and everything.

Alec hit his head against the couch's armrest and groaned. "Stop laughing at me, you _know_ what I meant."

"Did I?" Magnus asked, his lips curling into a smirk. Alec felt his heart flutter in his chest. "No, alright, I'm kidding. Of course we can go to sleep together, let me just..."

Magnus moved so that he was back in the position he'd been in when they had first started talking. He rested his head right against Alec's heart, which did nothing to prevent how fast he knew his heart was beating.

"Are you nervous?" Magnus asked carefully. "You don't have to be."

"No, I'm not, I just." Alec licked his lips in frustration. He didn't know what to say. That he liked Magnus a lot? That he hadn't ever felt like this before? All of those statements sounded cringeworthy to Alec's own ears.

"This is nice," he eventually decided on, "Really nice."

He felt Magnus smile against his chest, and knew he had said the right thing.

"I'm proud of you, Alec. I know this isn't easy, not at all, but. I think it'll be worth it."

Alec looked down at the sight of Magnus laying on his chest, his eyes closed and his breathing already beginning to steady.

It made Alec silently think that everything would be worth it, too.

***

When Alec left the next morning (after Magnus making him coffee and breakfast), he felt on top of the world. He still couldn't quite believe that Magnus had said yes and that they were together now. It all seemed so...foreign, the concept of being with someone who actually made him happy.

He knew both of his parents were working, so once Alec arrived to his house, he opened the door and yelled, "Iz! He said yes!"

The voice who responded was most definitely not Izzy's, though, judging by how masculine it was.

Alec froze in the doorway.

"Who said yes?" The guy asked, and when Alec looked to where the voice was coming from, he saw both Jace and Clary sitting in the living room.

Izzy was probably in the kitchen, fixing something that was inedible for them to eat for breakfast.

"Um," Alec stammered. He quietly closed the door behind him and walked over to where Jace and Clary were. He knew that if he took Magnus to prom, he'd be coming out to everyone, and that included Jace. Jace would know soon enough about Alec's sexuality, but there was also a part of Alec that wanted to tell him before everyone else found out.

After all, Jace _was_  his best friend.

Alec sat down on the very edge of the couch and rung his hands together. Jace and Clary were on the love seat, looking at him curiously.

Izzy stepped out of the kitchen, and when she saw how nervous Alec looked, she sat down next to him.

"Did you say that he said yes?" She asked him quietly.

Alec nodded, forcing a smile onto his lips.

"That's awesome," she told him, "I'm so happy for you two."

"Wait, can someone please explain what's going on?" Jace asked.

"I broke up with Lydia," Alec said. He saw Clary's eyes widen from beside Jace. "And I'm going to prom with someone else."

Jace shrugged at him. "Okay? Good for you. I don't see what the big deal is here," he admitted with a small laugh.

"I'm going to prom with Magnus Bane."

"The theatre geek?!"

Clary slapped him on the arm. "Don't call him that!"

"Wait, like. As friends?" Jace asked.

Izzy and Clary gave him matching _are you serious right now?_  looks.

"No, Jace. As in, you know. Boyfriends."

"So you're bi?"

Alec let out a breath. "No, I'm...definitely gay."

"But what about Lydia?"

"Jace, we were together for a year and I'm still a virgin. It was never really...like that, and she knew it."

Clary walked over to Alec before Jace could respond and wrapped him up in a tight hug. "That's awesome, Alec. Magnus was _so_ hung up on you, let me tell you."

Alec let out a light chuckle. He wasn't sure if Magnus being hung up on him was amusing or upsetting. Oddly, it was a little bit of both, since Alec had felt the same exact way about him.

"That's cool, bro," Jace decided, after a little bit of time had passed. "If you're happy, then. You know. I'm happy, too."

Alec offered a small smile and nodded his head. He knew that Jace would probably need a little bit of time to adjust to the fact that Alec was gay, considering he'd always viewed him as nothing but his super-straight, captain of the football team best friend.

"Oh, shit, my pancakes!" Izzy cursed as she ran into the kitchen.

Only a couple of minutes later she reappeared with a plate in her hands.

"Voilà! Bon appétit."

Alec looked over at the pancakes despite himself. He saw that the tops of them were burnt and yet, somehow, the middles looked as if they were still runny with pancake mix.

"As good as that looks," Jace said, standing up, "I made reservations for Clary and I to get breakfast."

Izzy said, "Reservations?" at the same time Clary said, "You did?"

"I sure did!" Jace locked hands with a confused Clary and all but dragged her out of the room. "See you guys on Monday!"

Alec knew they had left by the sound of the door closing behind him. He gave Izzy a questioning look and asked, "That was weird, right?"

Izzy shrugged. "I think they just wanted to leave because of how awful these pancakes look."

"Wait, you admit your cooking is terrible?"

"No, I never said that! I'm sure this was just a bad batch."

"Right."

" _Shut up_ or I'll make you eat them."

Alec was quiet after that. He couldn't help but wonder if Jace's rush to leave was because of Alec's confession to him, but he quickly shook that thought off. He told himself he was just being paranoid and left it at that.

***

 **From:** Jace  
**To:** Meliorn, Jordan, Raj, +15 more  
Alec just told me something that I need to tell you guys. Team meeting on Monday in the locker room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jace...wyd...
> 
> Also I made a tumblr edit for this! Here it is: http://bisexualluke.tumblr.com/post/149530760806/alec-magnus-izzy-and-clarys-high-school


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I'm back! I had a four day weekend so thankfully I was able to get some writing done :) I'd like to give a big thank you to everyone who left feedback and kudos last chapter. The response was incredible! I didn't respond to every comment but I did read every single one, you all are so sweet <3
> 
> There are some notes I'd like to leave before you start the chapter:
> 
> • I love Jace, but he's going to be a bit of a jerk in this chapter. He doesn't think about what he does as hurting Alec — he actually thinks he's helping him.  
> • There will be some POV changes at the beginning of the chapter. It starts out as Jace's, the Magnus', and then switches to Alec's.
> 
> I think that's it. Hope you enjoy the chapter!
> 
> EDIT: I just found this vine edit that reminds me so much of this fic I'm crying: https://vine.co/v/i3gju7Em7Ax

"Why did you call a team meeting without Alec? Are you even allowed to call team meetings without him here?" Elias asked.

Jace looked over at his teammate, fighting the strong urge to roll his eyes. They were all in the locker room, sat down on benches and crowded around lockers, while Jace remained standing in the center of the room.

"Alec's not here because this meeting is about something Alec told me. I mentioned that in the text."

His teammates were looking at him expectantly. Jace wrung his hands together as he thought about how he was going to say this. He had thought about it for a while, what he would do with what Alec had told him. Eventually he had decided this was the best course of action. He knew Alec, and despite what Alec seemed to think, Jace knew he wasn't ready to come out to his parents and the entire school.

"What I'm about to say stays between us and only us, okay? If I find out someone said something to someone else, you're off the team," Jace added.

"You can't do that," Jordan said.

Jace glared at him. "Yes, I can. And I will." He cleared his throat. _Anyway_ , I'm just going to come right out and say it. Alec's gay."

There were gasps. Some declarations of "he can't be!" and some of the guys asking about Lydia. Others accused Jace of lying.

"I'm not lying, Alec told me so himself. And get this; he plans on going to prom with Magnus Bane."

"Who?" Raj asked.

"He's in theatre. Him and Alec were in that play together," Jace said.

There was silence as everyone thought this over. Meliorn was the one to speak up after a few moments of silence.

"I don't know what the big deal is here. There's over twenty guys on this team. Of course not all of them are going to be straight."

"You don't get it," Jordan said to him. "He's our quarterback, he can't be...you know..."

"Yeah, he's our quarterback for, like, a few more weeks until we graduate. So, once again, I don't see how this is a big deal," Meliorn responded.

Jace decided to intervene. "Look, you don't know Alec like I know him. We're practically brothers, and I know for a fact that he's not ready to come out yet. That's why I'll kill any of you if you say anything."

"Why _did_ you tell us?" Elias asked.

"Because I think that Magnus is the one pressuring Alec to come out before he's ready. If we can separate the two of them, then Alec won't have to come out. Problem solved."

Raj asked how they planned on doing this at the same Meliorn said this was a horrible idea.

Jace opted on ignoring Meliorn and answered Raj instead. "Well, I have a plan. We'll do it first thing tomorrow morning—"

***

The last thing Magnus wanted to see first thing in the morning was Jace and a few other members of the football team standing by his locker. He gave them all a nonchalant look, trying to hide the sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Not that it isn't lovely to see you, but what are you doing at my locker?" Magnus asked Jace.

Jace pursed his lips. He looked hesitant, but also as if whatever he was about to say _had_ to be said.

Magnus was expecting something bad, but the words that came from Jace's mouth hit him like a punch.

"We want you to stop seeing Alec."

Magnus gaped. Alec had told him that he had told Jace about them, but he hadn't said anything about telling his entire team. Unless...

"Oh my god. You outed him?!" Magnus whisper-shouted, his eyes going wide in outrage.

"I did not! I told his teammates, who he trusts wholeheartedly. You're the one who's trying to force him out of the closet," Jace hissed.

"That's not even close to what happened. Maybe if you had actually talked to Alec about us instead of storming out of his house—"

"I had reservations!"

"—you would know that's not what happened. Alec came to me when he was ready."

Jace shook his head. "That's not what Alec told me," he said to Magnus, his voice low.

Magnus felt some of his anger at Jace melt away, replaced by the steady feeling of heaviness growing in his chest.

"He...said that?"

Jace didn't respond. He simply nodded his head.

"So you're going to end things with him. And you're not going to tell him a word of this conversation. Okay?"

Magnus narrowed his eyes at him. "Why shouldn't I tell him? Is it because you feel ashamed of what you're doing?"

"If anyone should feel ashamed, it's you," Jace retorted. Magnus quickly looked away from him.

He didn't know that Alec had felt pressured by him; that was the last thing Magnus had wanted. Plus Alec had swore that he was ready to come out. Had he been lying to make Magnus happy?

He didn't know, but he definitely didn't want to force Alec to come out too early, especially if Alec didn't know how his parents would react to the news. Magnus was all too aware of all the things that could go wrong while telling your homophobic parents that you like the same sex.

It was because of this that Magnus huffed out, "Okay. I'll break up with him. But you better not be lying to me, Jace, because I _will_ tell Alec if I find out you are."

Jace didn't look at all bothered by Magnus' words. That set it a little bit more into stone that Jace _was_ telling the truth.

Magnus didn't look at Jace or any of the football players as they walked away. He focused on unlocking his locker, trying to focus on the numbers even though his mind was reeling.

He had just gotten Alec, and already he had to give him up.

***

Something that Magnus had learned fairly quickly about Alec was that he wasn't very good at being subtle.

Like, at all.

Towards the end of that same day, Magnus was placing a book in his locker, and when he closed it, he saw Alec leaning on the locker next to his. He was smirking down at Magnus, probably looking the furthest thing from platonic.

"I thought you wanted to wait until prom to come out," Magnus said quietly.

"I do. Why?"

Magnus' eyes looked pointedly at how close Alec was to him. Alec backed slightly away from him, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

"I was wondering if we could talk? Alone?" Magnus asked. He couldn't meet Alec's eyes as he did. He could barely look at him, knowing what he was about to do.

Alec nodded. "You have a key to the auditorium, right?"

Magnus bit his lip. They probably shouldn't be sneaking around in there, but it wasn't like they'd be there for long. Magnus just had to get in, say what he had to say, and then get out. It wasn't like they'd be doing anything inappropriate, either.

He told Alec to meet him there in five minutes and then walked off in the direction of the auditorium.

His mind hadn't stopped racing all day. It was Tuesday and prom was on Saturday. Would Alec be able to find someone to go with in such a short time? Would Magnus?

The thought caused Magnus' shoulders to slump. He didn't _want_ to go with anyone else, and he had a feeling Alec wouldn't want to, either.

He took the key out from his pocket once he got to the auditorium and, after taking a look around the mostly empty hallway, he unlocked it. A few seconds later he was inside.

He flicked one of the not-too-bright lights on and looked over at the stage. It reminded Magnus of he and Alec's first meeting, of their first kiss, and he quickly turned away so he didn't have to look at it anymore.

Alec opened the door and snuck inside only a minute later. Magnus locked the door behind him and then, the next thing he knew, he was being pressed against the door.

Magnus let out a huff. " _What_  are you doing?"

"You said you wanted us to be alone," Alec responded, as if it were obvious. "Now we're alone."

Magnus opened his mouth to protest, but Alec seized the opportunity to press his mouth to Magnus' own before he could utter another word.

Magnus was going to back away, he _was_ , but then he remembered this might be their last time kissing like this in a long time. Maybe _ever_.

He kissed back passionately, his hands grasping at Alec's jacket to pull him closer. This was something that Magnus couldn't ever see getting old.

It was that thought that caused him to back away only a second later, albeit hesitantly.

This wasn't going to get old because he was going to break up with Alec.

Alec, who was giving him a questioning look with soft hazel eyes.

"Alec," he said softly, his gaze fluttering down to the floor. "We can't do this."

"Why not? We locked the door."

There were flaws in Alec's logic (for example, other people who had keys could still get in), but Magnus didn't point them out. He had to get this over with; it was tearing him up inside.

"I don't mean this, I mean — I mean _us_. We can't be together," Magnus murmured.

Alec took a step away from him. His eyes were wide in disbelief. "You're...kidding, right? You have to be."

"I wish I was, but I just don't." Magnus broke off, pursing his lips. He didn't know what to say. "I don't want to force you out of the closet, Alec. And if I go to prom with you, that's exactly what I'll be doing."

Alec opened his mouth, probably to argue, but Magnus held up a hand to stop him.

"You don't have to deny it. I know it's true; that you feel like you have to come out for me. Well, you don't. Not if we're not together."

"Magnus, you're not making any sense," Alec said, "How do you _know_ I'm not ready to come out?"

Magnus bit his bottom lip. "Someone might have told me."

If Alec had looked surprised before, he looked even more so now. "Who told you?"

"It doesn't matter. I need to g—"

"No, it _does_ matter. Magnus, please tell me."

Magnus took in Alec's wide, pleading hazel eyes and melted a little.

"It was Jace, okay? Jace told me. He came to me at my locker today with a couple of football players behind him. But I wasn't supposed to tell you that, for whatever reason, so..."

Alec went pale in the face. "Jace? And there were..."

"I guess he told the team. I'm sorry, Alec."

Alec shook his head. He still looked spooked, but now he mostly just seemed angry that Jace would do such a thing. "I never told him _anything_  like that. I want us to be together, more than anything."

He took Magnus' hands in his and gave them a gentle squeeze. Magnus felt his heart flutter at the simple gesture and words.

"I want us to be together, too," he whispered, "But clearly Jace doesn't. Maybe you should work things out with him before we see each other again. I don't want to come between your friendship."

Alec gaped. He looked like he wanted to say something, anything, but wasn't sure what. Magnus placed a hand to his cheek and gave him a small smile.

"It's not forever, okay? Just until you work things out."

Although it pained him to do so, he turned around to open the door and quietly closed it shut behind him.

He hoped Alec and Jace would work things out soon; the thought of not seeing Alec was a heartbreaking one.

***

Alec was a mixture of furious, upset, and confused by the time he got home.

He had only been with Magnus for, what, three days? And already they had separated.

Because of _Jace_.

Clearly Alec didn't know everything, but he tried to think of what he did know. Apparently Jace had told the team about Alec being in a relationship with Magnus, and they had tried to come between them.

The only thing was Alec couldn't wrap his head around _why_. Magnus had said something about Alec not being ready to come out of the closet, but how could Jace possibly know something like that? And why did he think it was any of his business to interfere with Alec's relationship?

He was all but bursting with the need to talk to someone, and when he saw Izzy on the couch doing her homework, he practically ran over to her.

Izzy raised her eyebrows. "You okay, big bro?"

Alec plopped down on the couch cushion next to her with a shake of his head. He saw Izzy was doing biology homework and felt bad for interrupting her, but he knew his sister loved all things science and this distraction wouldn't hurt her.

"Not even a little bit," he responded honestly, "I think I might actually kill Jace."

"Wait, what? Why? I thought he was cool with everything."

"Clearly he _wasn't_ because Magnus and I aren't together anymore and it's because of him!"

Izzy's eyes widened. "You're not together?! Alec, I'm so sorry, but why—"

"Jace told the team about Magnus and I. They told him to break up with me and now here we are."

Alec wasn't sure if he had ever seen his little sister get so mad so quickly before. She got out her phone, pounded a number into it, and then put the phone to her face.

A couple seconds later, she spoke.

"Jace, if you don't get your ass over here right now..."

Alec didn't hear his response, but it must have been an okay because the conversation ended only a minute later.

"We're going to talk about this. And you're going to win Magnus back," Izzy said, her voice filled with sincerity. "I can't _believe_ Jace would do something like that."

Alec felt his anger mostly dissolve into worry at the thought of actually facing Jace. What if he really didn't like the thought of Alec being gay? Or if Jace wouldn't be his friend anymore if he continued to see Magnus?

Who would Alec even _pick_ if he was forced to? Jace or Magnus?

His head felt like it was spinning, so he placed it in his hands. It wasn't even a fair competition; Alec wouldn't be able to chose between his best friend and his boyfriend, because he cared too deeply about both of them.

He must have been thinking for a while, because suddenly there was a knock on the door and Jace was walking inside.

Alec immediately stood up. He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to look threatening.

"What's going on? You guys look like this is an intervention or something," Jace said, letting out a chuckle.

"How could you do this to me?" Alec asked, his voice steely.

The humor drained straight from Jace's face. He looked confused. "What did I do?"

"Don't play dumb. You told Magnus to break up with me. _And_ told the team about my sexuality!"

Jace shook his head. "I'm guessing Magnus told you that?"

Even the way Jace said Magnus' name made Alec's blood boil — it was filled with so much unwarranted contempt.

"What does it matter if he did? I care about Magnus a lot. He makes me happy. Why did you think that you had any right to mess with that?"

"Alec, what I did was for your own good," Jace insisted. Alec scoffed at him, and heard Izzy do the same from where she was sitting behind him. "I'm _serious_."

"So ruining my relationship was for my own good?" Alec asked sarcastically.

Jace let out a frustrated huff and walked over to where Alec was standing. He cautiously placed a hand on Alec's shoulder and gave a small smile when Alec didn't move away from his touch.

"You're like the brother I never got to have, Alec. Well, really, the family I never got to have; you and Izzy both. I promise I never meant to hurt you, and I'm sorry if that's how it came across."

Alec shook his head. "You're like a brother to me too, Jace, but I'm not going to forgive you until you tell me why you did it."

"The point I'm trying to make is that _I know you_ , better than most people probably do. And I know you aren't ready to come out. I figured with Magnus out of the picture, he'd stop filling your head with all of those ideas."

Alec shrugged Jace's hand off of his shoulder. He was seething inside, but somehow he was managing to keep his calm on the outside.

"What if it wasn't Magnus pressuring me to come out? What if it was just me, sick of being someone who I'm not? Sick of seeing all of my loved ones fall in love while I'm stuck with a girl I'll never be able to love? Did you ever think about that, Jace?"

Jace crossed his own arms over his chest. He looked like he was angry that Alec wasn't getting what he was saying.

"I know you probably think I'm not thinking straight, but you're clearly the one who hasn't thought this through all the way. Have you thought about what everyone will say about you once you come out? No one will care anymore that you were a good student or a good athlete. You'll just be that guy who came out his senior year. Being gay is all you'll be known for."

"Jace!" Izzy exclaimed in shock.

"What?" Jace asked. "I'm being honest! And what about your parents, Alec? Have you even thought about how you're going to come out to them? Because once you come out to the school, it's only a matter of time before Robert and Maryse find out, too."

Through gritted teeth, Alec said, "Get. Out."

Jace didn't look like he'd been expecting those words. "Seriously?" He retorted. "You're kicking me out for telling you the truth?"

Alec felt like he was seconds away from a breakdown. Today had been one of the worst days of his life, and he didn't feel like going through this with Jace.

"You know, Jace, sometimes people don't want to be told the truth," Alec murmured as a steady lump grew in his throat. "Sometimes they just want to be told by the person they care about that everything will be okay, and that they'll be by their side no matter what."

Jace opened his mouth, but closed it again when Alec slowly shook his head. There was nothing else to say between them.

Jace walked to the door and was gone nearly as quick as he had arrived.

As soon as he left the house, Alec felt a wave of exhaustion sweep over him. He sat back down next to Izzy and felt her arms cling around him in a bear hug.

"I love you and you're going to be okay," she whispered.

It was those words that finally broke the dam to the waterworks. Alec tightly shut his eyes and tried not to let Izzy see the tears.

(She didn't say anything, but Alec thought she might have hugged him a little tighter).

***

If Alec had been a mess before he and Magnus had ever been officially together, he was ten times worse now.

It was Thursday, which meant two days before prom, and he and Jace showed no signs of reconciling. Alec knew they wouldn't amend their friendship until Alec either agreed to go back into the closet or if he put his foot down and came out to his parents, showing Jace this was what he really wanted.

The only thing was Alec was struggling with how he could do it; come out to his parents. Coming out to the school would've been somewhat easy — Alec could've just held Magnus' hand, maybe kissed him.

But his parents? Alec didn't know what to say. He didn't have any plans on what to do if his parents kicked him out or told him to, well, _not_ be gay.

So, naturally, Alec was moping a bit. Though he thought he had every right to, in his own opinion.

He had gone up to bed early. After dinner he had showered, done the limited amount of homework he'd had, and then stretched out on his bed. Currently he was staring at his phone, looking at Magnus' contact info and wanting to call him.

He knew it wouldn't do any good; that didn't change the fact that Alec wanted to hear his voice.

A knock on his door prevented that from happening. Alec locked his phone and sat up, yelling for whoever it was to come in.

He was expecting Izzy, but that's not who it was.

It was his mom.

She cautiously stepped inside Alec's room, and after a moment's hesitation, she sat down next to him on his bed.

To say Alec was confused would be an understatement. Alec couldn't even remember the last time his mother had been in his room.

"What are you doing here?" He asked her.

She looked over at him, and Alec was shocked to see an actual look of worry on her face.

"I'm worried about you, Alec," she admitted. "When I asked your sister about you, she accidentally let it slip that you and Lydia aren't together anymore. And ever since then you've not been yourself. Is it Lydia? Something else?"

Alec wasn't sure if he was angry or relieved that Izzy had told their mom about Lydia. He was feeling a bit of both at the moment.

"I'm...fine, Mom. You don't have to worry about me," he told her.

It was a non-answer if there ever was one, but he didn't know what to say. He didn't know if he could convincingly pull off being sad because of Lydia when there was actually so much more going on right now.

"I _do_ worry about you. I know I haven't been...the best mother in the world." Alec held in a snort. "But I do try to be there for you and your siblings. I've noticed you being distant from your father ever since he didn't go to your play, and I've also noticed a change in you since you broke up with Lydia."

Alec pursed his lips. Okay, so his mom was more observant than he ever would have thought her capable of being.

He made to respond, but his mom beat him to it.

"Whatever it is you're going through, I'd like to know. I don't have to tell your father. I know he can be, well...difficult."

Both of Alec's parents could be difficult. His dad just tended to be more close-minded and homophobic than his mom.

Which...gave Alec an idea. His mom most likely wouldn't like it, but if she really wanted to know what was wrong with Alec, she would probably go along with it.

His heart fluttered furiously at the thought, but since the idea was already in his head, he had to go through with it. This could be how he did it; how he finally came out.

"I'll tell you what's wrong, if you promise not to tell Dad," Alec said.

Maryse raised a trimmed eyebrow. "Okay. Your father doesn't have to know."

"...I don't think you're going to like it."

Maryse now looked both annoyed and concerned. She crossed her arms over her chest with a huff, which, for a second, reminded Alec strongly of Izzy.

"You're starting to make me think you either got someone pregnant or started doing drugs, both of which will get you grounded for life."

Alec winced. "Um, neither of those."

Maryse's shoulders sagged in relief. Alec wanted to tell her that she shouldn't be relieved just yet.

"I broke up with Lydia because I've never had anything other than friendly feelings for her, and I never will, because I'm..." Alec took a deep breath. No matter how many people he came out to, it was never any less scary. "Because I'm gay."

His mom's mouth quite literally dropped open. Her eyes went wide. She closed her mouth, opened it, and then closed it again without a word.

It took her at least five minutes for her to compose herself, and all Alec do was ring his hands together in anxiety as he waited.

The words she spoke weren't what Alec had been expecting.

"Why don't you want me to tell your father?" She questioned.

Alec licked his lips. It wasn't a dismissal, per say, but it also wasn't anything encouraging.

His heart continued to pound as his palms grew sweaty. Why was coming out continuously so hard to do?

"Dad is...you know. He wouldn't even come to my play because he thought it was gay. What would he do if he found out I was actually gay?"

Maryse slowly shook her head. "I don't like keeping this big of a secret from your father. How long do you plan on keeping this from him?"

Alec took a moment to think about it. Jace had a point; if Alec came out at prom, it would only be a matter of time before news traveled back to his parents. That meant Alec would mostly likely have to tell his dad either the day before or the day after prom.

"A couple of days. That's all I need, Mom, please," he pleaded.

Maryse stood up from the bed. Alec was filled with a sudden, irrational fear that she would walk right out of the room to go tell her husband about their oldest son's sexuality, but that's not what happened.

"Okay," she said, "But I need you to consider the very real possibility of your father not being alright with your sexuality. For as long as I've known him, he hasn't been particularly accepting of, um..."

"Gays?"

"Yes."

Alec gave a weak smile. "That's kind of why I told you first."

Maryse didn't respond, just looked at him questioningly.

"If Dad doesn't respond encouragingly, I need you to be on my side."

"Alec—"

"Please, Mom. I don't need you preaching about equal rights or gay marriage, I just. I need my mom to stand up for me if worst comes to worst. That's all I'm asking."

Alec hated how desperate his voice sounded. But he needed his mom to do this for him. If she didn't, and his dad reacted how Alec was pretty sure he was going to react, then Alec would be terrified. He was _already_ terrified, but he'd be even more so.

Maryse sighed. She looked like she couldn't believe what she was about to say.

"I'll stand up for you," she said quietly. "But only because I can tell how scared you are right now."

Alec wasn't sure if he had ever been so relieved in his life. He stood up from his bed and wrapped his mom in a tight hug, breathing out a deep sigh to let the anxiety flow from his body.

"This doesn't necessarily mean I agree with what you just told me," she said.

Alec nodded his head. He had figured as much. "I know. You don't have to. Just...having you by my side will be enough."

At least for now, anyway.

"I'm assuming your sister already knew?"

"Uh, yeah. She figured it out on her own."

Maryse hummed in response and broke the hug. She had never been one for giving or receiving displays of affection, so the fact that she had hugged Alec for as long as she had was a miracle in itself.

"Thank you for telling me," she told him quietly.

Alec nodded once more. His mom offered a small, tight smile, and then walked out of the door, closing it quietly behind her.

As soon as she was gone, Alec got out his phone and texted Izzy. She was hanging out with Simon for a "study date" at the library, but Alec had a feeling she would want to know what had just happened.

Sure enough, she texted him back only two minutes later.

 **From:** Izzy  
**To:** Alec  
"YOU WHAT?!?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Alec :')
> 
> Next chapter there will be more Jalec and then the prom. This story is slowly but surely reaching an end :(
> 
> I'll try to post the next chapter on either Saturday or Sunday, but it's going to be a long one so we'll have to see!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't even begin to say how sorry I am for just now updating. School has been so much more hectic than I ever could have expected. But finally, it's here!!

Despite it quite literally being the last thing Alec wanted to do, he called Jace after school on Friday. When Jace answered, it was with a hesitant hello; undoubtedly he was unsure where he and Alec stood.

Good. Alec wanted to make him a little nervous.

"I came out to my mom. She took it really well," was the first thing Alec said.

He could practically see the shock on Jace's face, even over the phone.

"I'm going to come out at prom, too, with Magnus. And I'm...I'm hoping he'll take me back."

Jace was quiet for a few seconds. "Okay. That's...that's good, Alec. I've had time to think and I've realized what I did was completely shitty. I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. But that doesn't mean everything's okay between us. I was terrified that one of the guys would out me before I was ready, still am, actually. Not to mention that I have no idea if Magnus will even take me back after everything that happened."

He heard Jace withdraw a sigh. "I know, I really am sorry. I could put in a good word for you?"

"No!" Alec exclaimed too quickly, and then cleared his throat. "I mean, that's alright. I think you've said enough."

"Oh, true. You're definitely right about that," Jace said. "Well, I hope that everything works out for you, Alec. I mean that."

Alec nodded, even though Jace couldn't see him. He believed that Jace was sorry, but he didn't know if Jace truly grasped how terrible the repercussions of his actions could've been.

"I'll see you at prom, maybe."

"Yeah, sure."

Alec ended the call and took a deep breath. He had thought that call would make him feel better, but it hadn't. He still couldn't believe that Jace would do such a thing to him.

Sure, he'd forgive him eventually, but right now he needed time.

Luckily, it seemed like Jace was willing to give him that.

***

Alec didn't realize until Friday night that he had absolutely nothing to wear for the prom that was _tomorrow_. He (reasonably) freaked out a bit and hurried over to Izzy's room, figuring if anyone knew what to do, it would be Izzy.

"I have nothing to wear," he blurted out.

Izzy was lying on her bed texting someone (most likely Simon from the smile on her face). When she looked over at her panicked brother, she let out a quiet laugh.

"You don't have a suit or anything like that?" She asked.

"No. Well, yes, but. I kind of wanted to know what Magnus is wearing so we can match but I also don't want him to know that I'm coordinating our outfits because I want this whole thing to be a surprise and—"

"Breathe, Alec!" Izzy exclaimed. "I can find out what Magnus is wearing without asking him."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "And how would you do that?"

"Well, I do happen to be friends with Magnus' best friend, Clary," Izzy said with a devious smirk as she tapped away at her phone.

Only a minute later, Izzy's phone buzzed.

"What'd she say?"

"I have to look at it, give me a second!"

Alec watched impatiently as Izzy read the text message, her eyes gleaming as she "ooh"ed.

" _Izzy_ , c'mon."

"Okay, okay. He's wearing a black button-up with a maroon velvet overcoat and black slacks."

Alec felt his mouth gape at the thought of Magnus in all black and...velvet. He knew Magnus would look absolutely incredible and his chest filled with both nerves and enthusiasm.

He was brought out of his thoughts by the sound of Izzy's laughter.

"Close your mouth, it's unbecoming to have it open so wide like that," she teased.

Alec huffed at her, but closed his mouth. "Very funny. I still have no idea what to wear that would match Magnus' outfit."

"Well, you and I could always go to the mall tomorrow to pick out your outfit," Izzy said nonchalantly, but Alec could see how secretly excited she was at the thought of shopping for her brother.

This was Izzy's first prom. She was only a sophomore, but Simon was a junior, which allowed her to go. Alec wanted to make her first prom (and her only prom with Alec) the best it could be, so he figured the least he could do was go shopping with her tomorrow — no matter how much he hated the mall.

"Okay, we can do that."

Izzy's eyes went wide. "Wait, you're agreeing to go shopping with me? Just like that?"

"Yeah, sure." He then pointed an accusing finger at her. "But _only_  if it's for my suit; nothing else."

"And our hair?" Izzy added hopefully.

Alec thought about it for a second before shrugging. "And our hair."

"Yes!" Izzy cheered. "The Lightwoods are gonna look _good_."

Alec laughed at her, told her goodnight, and then went back to his own bedroom.

***

The next morning, Izzy eventually decided on a white button down shirt, a black overcoat, black slacks, and a maroon velvet bowtie to match Magnus' own overcoat for Alec to wear. She had Alec try his outfit on in the dressing room, and when he was looking at himself in the mirror, he felt his breath catch.

This was all getting so real. Alec was going to come out tonight — well, if Magnus took him back.

 _If_.

What if Magnus didn't even take him back? What if he decided that Alec had too many problems that he didn't feel like dealing with?

"Alec? Let me see!"

Izzy's voice snapped Alec out of his panicking. He took a deep breath, nodded at himself in the mirror, and then stepped out of his dressing room.

"Oh my god!" Izzy squealed, her hands going up to her mouth.

"Is that a good 'oh my god'?" Alec asked nervously.

Izzy rolled her eyes. " _Of course_ it's a good 'oh my god'. Alec, you look incredible. Magnus won't know what hit him."

Alec let out a soft laugh at the thought. He hoped so.

"I'm going to get changed and then we can get our hair done, alright?"

Izzy nodded, and she must have seen something in his face, because she softly added, "He's going to take you back, Alec. Everything's finally going to work out for you."

Alec could only smile at her as he stepped back into the dressing room. He didn't know if she was right, but he really, really wanted her to be.

***

They arrived back home around four, and Izzy was immediately rushing to her room to get ready. Alec wasn't sure why; prom didn't start until eight, and Simon wasn't picking them up until six-thirty so they could go out to eat beforehand. Alec had been worried he would be imposing on what could be considered a date, but Simon and Izzy had quickly denied that train of thought.

"Besides, we can always ditch you once we get to the prom," Izzy had said, before throwing her head back and laughing at the look on her brother's face.

Alec honestly didn't have much to do to get ready. His hair had already been done, so at five-thirty he went upstairs to get changed into his tux. He checked his Instagram after changing to pass the time, and saw tons of his friends all posting prom-pictures.

It made him smile, but also made him wonder if Magnus had posted any pictures of himself, or if Clary had posted any of him. He went to both of their pages and felt a swell of disappointment when he saw that neither of them had.

Alec knew he would see Magnus soon enough but, still, he wanted to see him _now_.

By the time Alec walked downstairs, all of his family was already down there. Alec was pleased to see that Maryse was taking pictures of Izzy.

Izzy looked stunning in a long golden dress and her hair in soft curls. She had painted her lips a magenta color that nicely complimented her dark features.

"Get together for pictures, you two!" Maryse exclaimed, gesturing for Alec to hurry up.

Alec couldn't help but laugh. Maryse hadn't ever really been the type of parent to take pictures of her children's milestones, but he supposed it was better late than never for her to start.

Alec walked over so that he was stood next to Izzy and wrapped an arm around her waist. They were both stood in front of the fireplace so that the background of the photos would be visually pleasing.

"Damn, Iz, Simon isn't gonna know what hit him," Alec whispered to her, repeating what Izzy had said to him.

Izzy laughed at him and sent a playful smack to his chest.

Maryse ended up taking a picture of the two of them laughing together, and Alec liked it so much that he posted it to his Instagram with the caption, "Lightwoods take on prom 2k16" with the smiling purple devil emoji.

Simon arrived to the house around six-fifteen, and to Alec's surprise, Maryse insisted on getting pictures of both Simon and Izzy together. Alec didn't remember Simon ever winning Maryse's approval, but he was happy for his sister and Simon nonetheless.

Alec, Simon, and Izzy were just about to leave, were right next to the door, when Robert asked where Lydia was.

Alec felt a chill go down his spine.

"We really need to go, we'll be late for our dinner—" Izzy tried.

"I broke up with her," Alec said. He appreciated Izzy trying to help him out, but he needed to do this. He couldn't keep putting it off.

"Why would you do that? And right before prom, of all times?" Robert asked. He looked genuinely confused.

Alec looked over to where his little brother was standing. He walked over to Max and crouched down so he could place his hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, buddy, would you mind going up to your room for me? Just for a little bit, I promise," he asked him.

Max looked just as confused as Robert did, but he then nodded. He wished Alec a good time and Alec wrapped him up in a hug, telling him thank you.

It wasn't that he didn't want his little brother to know he was gay. Alec didn't have a problem with that, even if Max most likely wouldn't be entirely sure what that meant. It was that he didn't want Max hearing what Robert might say about Alec after he confessed his sexuality.

Alec waited until Max was all the way up the stairs before standing back up and turning around to face his father. He looked only at him, not at any of the other faces in the room.

"I broke up with Lydia," Alec started, quickly feeling his cool dissolve into nervousness, "I broke up with Lydia because I'm gay, and I'm going to prom with a guy."

It wasn't necessarily the truth, but it did the trick. Robert's mouth gaped — well, actually, every mouth dropped as it went completely silent in the room.

Unfortunately, the silence only lasted for a moment before Robert interrupted it.

"What did I tell you?!" Robert yelled, directing his attention to Maryse. "I _told_ you that theatre turned good straight kids gay!"

Before Alec had the chance to react, Izzy spoke up.

"How dare you say that!" She exclaimed, her voice equal in volume with Robert's. "You're assuming that people can "turn" gay. That's so homophobic, Dad. Alex's _always_ been gay, whether you like it or not."

Robert's attention went from Maryse to Izzy. He had yet to look at Alec. Still, Alec could see that he was glaring at Izzy.

"I don't know why you're standing up for this f—"

"That's enough!" Maryse scolded. "Robert, I will not have you speak of our son in such a hateful way."

Robert gaped once more. "You're in on this, too, Maryse?"

"There's nothing to be 'in' on! All I'm doing is supporting my son, _our_ son, which you should be doing, too."

Robert opened his mouth to interrupt, but Maryse didn't allow him to. Even though Alec's stomach had gone sick and he'd had to clench his hands together to prevent them from shaking at what Robert had been about to call him, he was so glad to see his sister and his mom standing up for him. It was so much more than Alec could've ever hoped for.

"You three go on. I don't want you to be late," Maryse said to Simon, Izzy, and Alec.

Robert looked quite literally outraged. Alec offered his mom an appreciative smile as he walked out the door but he couldn't meet Robert's eyes for fear of what would be there. He didn't know if he could handle seeing his dad look at him with hatred or as if he didn't know who Alec was anymore.

The three hurried to Simon's car once they were outside, eager to escape the Lightwood house. Simon (obviously) took the driver's seat, while Alec and Izzy both sat in the spacious backseats.

As soon as they were buckled in and on their way to the restaurant, Izzy gave Alec a big hug — well, the best hug she could with her seatbelt restricting her.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I — I actually thought it would be a lot worse than that, so. Thank you for sticking up for me."

Izzy smiled softly. "Of course. I always will."

"Dude, that was so badass," Simon said from the driver's seat. "When I came out to my mom and sister as pan, it was _awful_ because they had no idea what it meant, so then I had to _explain_ it to them but, like, anyway...what I'm trying to say is that coming out can suck sometimes, but it _does_ tend to get better. My mom probably still doesn't know what pansexual means, but she's grown to be supportive. I'm sure your dad will be the same way."

Alec was oddly touched. He looked over at Izzy to see she was giving her boyfriend some serious heart eyes.

"Thanks, Simon. I appreciate it."

"Yeah, no problem. But wait — were you being serious when you said you had a date? Or was that a lie? Because either way—"

"Yeah, I'm going with Magnus. Technically," Alec interrupted, knowing he most likely wouldn't have been able to get a word in if he hadn't.

Simon's jaw drop. Alec was pretty sure he almost ran the red light he pulled up to.

"Seriously?! Dude, you have _so much_  explaining to do."

Alec couldn't help laughing, and after a couple of seconds, Izzy joined him.

***

Even though Izzy had been joking about leaving Alec once they got to the prom, that was pretty much exactly what had happened.

Simon and Izzy had gotten their prom picture together, holding onto each other and looking cute, and by the time Alec had gotten his taken (by his himself), the two of them had been out of sight.

Alec didn't mind. They deserved to have some alone time as a couple.

The theme of the prom was 'A Night in Paris'. The room was illuminated by strings of small, white and yellow lights, and each table was decorated with small Eiffel towers. When Alec had walked into the venue, there had been a larger Eiffel Tower that Izzy had insisted getting her picture with ("It's gold, just like my dress!")

Since there was no way Alec was going to dance by himself, he decided to make his way over to the snack table. The DJ was playing an electronic song which, unfortunately, resulted in a large number of couples grinding on each other.

He knew Magnus was in the sea of students somewhere, but Alec felt nauseous at the thought of looking for him. What if he had gone with someone else? What would Alec do then?

On his way over to the food table, he felt someone give him a nudge and turned around to face whoever it was. At the sight of Lydia, Alec's face broke into a wide grin.

"Lydia! You look great," Alec told her, wrapping her up in a quick hug.

"Thank you, so do you! I love the bowtie," Lydia told him with a laugh.

Alec laughed too. It was nice seeing Lydia, and she looked genuinely happy, which was also quite reassuring.

"So did you come with anyone?" She asked casually.

"Technically no, but. I'm planning on meeting someone here. If he even wants to see me, which I'm not too sure about. I'm kind of working up the nerve to talk to him," Alec rambled.

Lydia smiled at him. "I'm sure whoever it is, he's eagerly looking forward to talking with you."

Alec was about to ask Lydia if she had come with anyone, when a guy Alec knew as John came up beside Lydia, wrapping an arm around her waist. Lydia smiled up at him, a light blush on her cheeks.

"Alec, this is John. John, this is Alec," she introduced.

The two basically knew each other already, but they still shook hands and exchanged pleasantries. Alec was immensely glad to see how happy John and Lydia seemed to be together — Lydia deserved to have someone who looked at her the way John did, since Alec admittedly never had.

"I'm gonna grab a bite to eat. You two have fun, okay?" Alec said.

"You too, Alec," Lydia said, giving him a look that Alec easily translated to mean 'go talk to your guy' before the couple dissolved into the crowd of dancing students.

Alec sighed as he made it to the table. He placed a strawberry under the chocolate fountain and took a small bite from it. Even though he was still full from dinner, he had purposely not ordered dessert so he could have something to eat while at prom.

Against his better judgement, Alec's eyes raked over the crowd. Eventually, he spotted Magnus, and saw that he was dancing playfully with both Catarina and Ragnor.

Alec's shoulders sagged in relief. He hadn't gone with a date.

Magnus was pretty far away so Alec couldn't see him in that great of detail, but the sight of him still caused Alec's breath to catch. If Magnus looked that good in his suit from far away, then Alec couldn't imagine how he looked close-up.

Alec was mentally preparing himself to walk up to him when, all of a sudden, the music stopped playing.

Alec tried to convince himself it wasn't a sign.

The principal walked up to the stage, tapped the mic, and said, "Now for the moment you've all been waiting for: the announcement of your elected prom king and queen!"

Alec honestly hadn't given a single thought to prom king and queen. He supposed he and Lydia had a shot, since voting had ended before they had broken up.

Alec hoped that wasn't the case. He couldn't help feeling like it would be awkward, since they both had feelings for someone else.

"Your prom king is...Alec Lightwood!"

Well, shit. Too much for that not being the case.

The venue erupted into applause and wolf whistles as Alec hesitantly made his way up to the stage. The principal placed the crown on Alec's head and the sash over his chest once he had made it center-stage.

Almost immediately, Alec made eye contact with Magnus in the crowd. Alec offered him a small smile and felt his heart flutter pathetically in his chest when Magnus smiled back at him.

Lydia's name was called for prom queen, and Alec clapped along with the crowd as she walked onto the stage. She gave Alec an apologetic look as the principal placed the crown on her head, but Alec tried to silently let her know it wasn't her fault. They had been the school's golden couple; of course they would be elected prom king and queen.

It was when the principal announced that he and Lydia would be having their king and queen's dance that an idea formed in Alec's mind.

While the two of them were walking to the center of the dance floor, where all of the students had created a circle for them to dance in, Alec shared his idea with Lydia. Lydia immediately nodded, whispering that she thought it was a great idea.

Instead of the two of them dancing together, Lydia found John and began slow dancing with him. Alec kept walking forward, into the crowd of students, until he was face-to-face with Magnus.

Magnus, who was looking at him with wide, confused eyes.

"What are you doing?" He whispered.

Alec stuck his hand out towards him. He could hear people whispering, could practically feel their eyes on the both of them, but the only person he cared about right now was the one standing right in front of him.

"You told me awhile ago that you'd be my date to prom, and I was wondering if that meant we could have this dance together?" Alec asked.

Magnus opened his mouth, closed it when he couldn't think of a response, and then decided on laughing softly in disbelief. He took Alec's hand in his and gently twined both of their hands together, taking a couple of steps closer so they could be chest to chest.

Alec wrapped his free arm around around Magnus' waist and held him close as they began to sway to the music. Magnus didn't rest his head on Alec's shoulder, but instead opted on staring into Alec's eyes.

"People are staring at us," Magnus eventually murmured.

Alec looked around. Other couples had begun slow dancing as well, and a good majority of them had their heads turned towards Alec and Magnus, their mouths open wide. When Alec gave them all the best 'mind-your-own-business' look he could manage, they all turned their attention hastily back to their dates.

"There," Alec said, and Magnus chuckled helplessly.

"You never cease to amaze me, Alexander," Magnus whispered.

Alec's nose crinkled. "Who told you my full name was Alexander? Was it Izzy?"

"Does it matter? I like it. I might just start calling you that from now on."

That sounded a lot like Magnus wanted to get back together. Alec couldn't even try to keep the hopefulness out of his voice as he asked, "Does that mean you'll take me back?"

The song changed from the slow one that had been playing to a more upbeat one, something about being so into someone that you could barely breathe.

It was oddly fitting for the moment.

"That depends. Do you want me back?"

They were still swaying slowly to the music despite the change of song. Alec placed a hand to Magnus' cheek, wanting him to see how earnest he was about this — about _them_.

"I want you more than anything," he confessed.

Despite the dim lighting, Alec thought he could see a light blush form on Magnus' cheeks. Magnus looked down at the ground but Alec gently tilted his head up, beginning to lean in.

"Is this okay?" He asked Magnus, wanting to make sure before he did anything he couldn't take back.

Magnus didn't say anything, just nodded, his lips parting slightly. Alec took the opportunity to close the rest of the space between them and seal their lips together.

Almost as soon as their lips touched, Alec thought he heard a gasp and then whispers.

He tightened his grip on Magnus' waist and kissed him again in response.

The kiss was a relatively short one compared to others they had shared. They were both aware that they were surrounded by teachers and classmates (even though other people were most likely doing much worse than kissing on this very dance floor).

Magnus looked around at the classmates who were trying (and failing) to mind their own business. He then smirked up at Alec.

"You want to get out of here?"

Alec swallowed nervously but still nodded, anxious to just be alone with Magnus. He could tell that Magnus must have felt the same because he took Alec's hand in his and all but dragged him towards the venue's exit.

Alec stumbled after him, laughing all the while. "Eager, much?" He asked.

Magnus walked out of the exit, and almost as soon as the door was shut behind them, he was pulling Alec in by the lapels and pressing their lips together.

It was definitely more heated than their last kiss had been. Alec swayed forward a bit, not expecting the force of the surprise kiss, but Magnus held tight to him, centering him.

"That was so romantic," Magnus breathed out between kisses. "I wasn't...I wasn't expecting that."

"That was the point," Alec teased smugly, though he then 'ow'ed when Magnus bit his lip in retaliation.

They shared another kiss, Alec's back to the brick wall of the venue and Magnus standing in between his legs. It wasn't until they realized that anyone could quite literally just walk out of the double doors and spot them making out that they (hesitantly) separated.

"I have an idea for a place we could go that's a little more...private," Magnus suggested. Alec must have looked a little panicked, because Magnus was quick to assure, "And I don't mean that we have to do anything there. In fact, it's a public place, so I doubt we'd even be _allowed_  to do anything there."  
  
Alec let out a soft chuckle, feeling a rush of relief in him that Magnus understood he wasn't ready for anything past kissing yet.

"Let's go," Alec agreed, and Magnus held his hand tightly in his as they walked to where Magnus' car was.

  
***

All throughout the drive, the two of them kept their hands twined together over the glove box while the radio played softly between them. Alec kept looking over at Magnus, unable to believe that this was really happening, that he'd be able to kiss and be with Magnus whenever he wanted to, now.

Well, figuratively speaking, of course.

They ended up at a small lake towards the back-roads of town. Alec had heard of this place before from guys on his team; apparently it was a pretty popular place to take a date.

The thought made Alec smile. As he got out of Magnus' car, Magnus handed him a blanket and asked him if he could lay it out by the lake.

Alec nodded and set off towards the lake. Even if it was pitch black dark outside, it was still a pretty sight. Alec could see the streetlights and the light of the moon reflecting off of the water, which was quite the sight.

He unrolled the blanket and set it gingerly on the ground. He had only just sat down on the stretched out blanket when, suddenly, Magnus was plopping down next to him.

He had stripped of his tux so that he was now only in his black button down, which made him look even more incredible.

When Magnus looked over at Alec and saw that he was already looking back at him, Alec blushed, quickly averting his gaze to the water.

"It's really pretty here," he rushed out, wondering if Magnus thought he was a complete loser.

Magnus' hand snuck into Alec's own. Alec turned to look at him and saw that he was smiling at him.

"Yeah, I love it. Especially during Christmas, when the Christmas lights are hung up over the frozen water."

Alec thought about that; Christmas. Would he and Magnus still be together then? Alec thought it would be nice to see the Christmas lights reflected over the lake, and to see it with Magnus by his side, but maybe that wasn't what Magnus had meant. After all, there was no way either of them could know what would happen in seven months time.

Alec tried to force his next words back into his mouth, but he couldn't helping asking. He needed to know how Magnus was thinking.

"Do you think we'll be still together then?"

Instead of smiling, Magnus looked over at Alec with an expression of soft surprise.

"You have to ask that?" He pondered quietly.

Alec bit his lip. He didn't know if Magnus' response was a negative or a positive one.

Magnus must have seen the uncertainty on Alec's face because he let out a chuckle, briefly connecting his lips with Alec's.

"Alec, I'm in this for the long haul. At the prom, you told me that you don't want anything more than me, and I feel the same exact way about you. I want you, for as long as you'll have me," Magnus admitted, his cheeks flushing lightly at the sincerity of his words.

Alec wanted to be comforted by Magnus' words, and he was, to a certain degree. But he had always been a logical mind — someone who needed facts before believing what they heard.

"Where...where do you plan on going to college?" Alec asked, a bit nervously. Yes, he knew that he and Magnus could stick together and have a long distance relationship if Magnus went outside of New York City, but Alec also knew how rarely those worked out. He didn't know how long they would last if that was the case.

"I'm actually planning on not going to college. Well, at least for now. I want to see if I could make it on Broadway. It's always been my dream, you know, and my mom told me that I have her full support. I mean, I'll still work a part time job somewhere in the city until I get my foot in the door, but. Yeah. Broadway."

Alec could barely believe what he was hearing. Magnus was planning on staying in New York City. _Right_  in the city.

"You're staying in New York?" Alec asked, probably a bit too happily, but that couldn't be helped.

"Of course, I couldn't leave this city even if I tried," Magnus laughed. "What about you? Do you know where you're going?"

Alec nodded. "I, um. I just got accepted into NYU the other day."

Magnus squeezed his hand as a wide smile took over his face. "Alec, that's incredible. I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you," Alec breathed, "I'm just...I'm glad we'll still be close, you know?"

"Mm, you're not getting rid of me just yet," Magnus said with a laugh. "I'll get an apartment right outside your college and visit you in your dorm so much that your roommate will be sick of me."

Alec really liked the sound of that. He moved closer to Magnus and locked their lips together as a way of telling Magnus that he liked his plan — more than liked it, _loved it._

Their tongues brushed against each other and Alec let out a quiet moan, his hands grasping at Magnus' shoulders.

"I feel like," Alec started, his voice a little breathy from the intensity of their kiss, "I feel like everything is coming together."

The look Magnus gave him at those words made Alec lose his breath all over again. It was so soft and fond.

"I feel the same," Magnus whispered.

He then positioned himself so that he was sat in Alec's lap and gently pushed at his shoulders so that Alec fell onto his back.

Alec barely got out a laugh before Magnus was leaning down to capture his lips in his, picking back up where they had started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


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